Top 20 Best Number One Hits Of The 2000s (Part 2)

     Alright, let's finish this.

10

     Timbaland is awesome.

10) Song: Promiscuous

      Artist: Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado

      Year It Was #1: 2006

     Timbaland is, no beating around the bush, one of the greatest producers to ever step into the world of music making. The vast majority of the beats he creates are some of the catchiest, most fun, just straight up bumpin' things to ever be released to the public. From his work with Justin Timberlake, Missy Elliott, and the person he teamed up with for the track in this spot, Nelly Furtado, this guy can almost do no wrong......

.........almost.

Anyways, yeah, everybody and their grandmother knows Promiscuous, and it's not hard to see why because this song is fucking awesome. First off, this beat is a straight up banger. The pounding drums, the futuristic synths, the little alien-like vocal snippets in the background that sound way better than they have any right to sound, it all creates this really great club atmosphere that fits both the performers and the lyrical content perfectly. On top of that, Timb and Nelly Furt just bring it here. They trade off lines and bounce off of each other remarkably well, not to mention how great they sound, and the chemistry they have is absolutely impeccable, which enhances how well the lyrical content works in spades. Here, Timbaland is trying to seduce Ms. Furtado at a club. She's clearly interested but is playing incredibly hard to get, so Timb on the surface seems to be unsuccessful. But he's not giving up hope as he sees through the little tease she's putting on. On the surface, this sounds creepy as hell, and if it weren't as well written as it was, I'd be pretty inclined to call the police on Timbaland. However, it avoids several possible pitfalls that this could've fallen into. Timbaland avoids the pitfall of coming off like a total perv by not saying anything skin-crawling or overly explicit, and Nelly avoids the pitfall of being a totally insufferable cunt by letting him down easy and not being all that aggressive as well as not being completely opaque and confusing in the signals she's sending. She is playing hard to get, as stated before, but she's still clearly showing at least a little bit of interest, and that's what makes this song work so well: it sounds completely normal and comfortable. This sounds exactly like a realistic conversation that someone would have whilst at a club, and neither party shows anything to show that they deserve a drink in the face or a boot to the nuts (or......ovaries in Nelly's case, I guess?). Overall, really great song.

9

     Hey, remember when Maroon 5 were good? Ah, good times. Good times.

9) Song: Makes Me Wonder

      Artist: Maroon 5

      Year It Was #1: 2007

     The story of Maroon 5's descent really is a tragic one. They started out in the early 2000s making great pop-rock that pretty much everyone and their mother enjoys, continued that in the mid-2000s, but by the 2010s, something......happened. I mean, they had Misery and Moves Like Jagger, which were still really good, but it was clearly foreshadowing of what was to come, and it wasn't gonna be pretty. Sure enough, that's exactly what happened, and while I will come to bat for One More Night, Animals, and to some extent Sugar, the rest of their songs after 2011 minus those three really are as bad as everyone says they are. I'd say I hope they come back to their roots someday, but let's be real, that isn't going to happen. You know it, I know it, and their two most recent top 40 singles prove that. Thankfully, though, none of that has tainted my view of any of their old music, and such is the case with Makes Me Wonder, their only pre-2011 #1 hit as well as easily their best hit song to date. The batshit alternative funk sound of this song is simply mind-blowing in just how incredible it is. The light, bouncy guitar riff, the heavier synths, piano interjections that are random yet don't feel out of place, pulsing drums, the little atmospheric effects in the background, it all creates this really upbeat and enjoyable sound that's hard to deny. Then we have Adam Levine's vocals. Normally, when a vocalist is shoved right to the back of the mix, it irritates the hell out of me because how much it muffles what they're trying to say and makes it hard to hear them, but here, that's not really the case. As drowned out as Levine is, he's still audible simultaneously and isn't rendered incomprehensible. The lyrical content is also pretty good here as well. It's about a relationship gone sour, something that would later become the bread and butter of Pretty Boy & The Other Guys as well as their biggest mistake, but here, it actually isn't that bad. It's about how Adam is wondering how he ever came to trust someone so cold and heartless and wonders if he ever really did care about her yet at the same time blames himself for going out with her in the first place due to the warning signals in her head  that she'd turn out this way. It's a really good concept, and the execution goes off without a hitch. All in all, this a really great song, and it's a shame this band (if you can even still call them that) has taken such a turn for the worst.

8

     Hi, Kevin's favorite artist.

8) Song: Stronger

    Artist: Kanye West

    Year It Was #1: 2007

     Let's not beat around the bush, here: Kanye West is a complete and total egomaniac. He's full of himself, doesn't know how to quit when he's ahead, incredibly braggadocios, and an overall completely self-centered person with an overinflated view of his self-image. However, that isn't necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. In fact, often times, it can lead to some damn great music from the dude, and thus, we come to talking about Stronger. This song is just straight up power from start to finish. It reworks Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk into this heavier, more industrial sounding musical piece, and it just sounds awesome. It has so much punch, so much energy, so much grit that if you don't get pumped listening to this, something's wrong with you. Lyrically, this is a song about picking up a chick in a club by bragging about how awesome you are. Basic as hell, yet Kanye pulls it off with how much charisma and presence he has with fire line after fire line (and also that corny "Klondike/blonde dyke" line, but hey, they can't all be winners). Every single second of this song is just, from start to finish, an absolute blast. The fuzzy synths, the machine-like percussion, the aforementioned HBFS sample that runs throughout the entirety of the song, all of it is nothing short of simply glorious. This is gonna be the shortest entry for the top half of this list because there really isn't much you can say about how awesome this song is without starting to get repetitive. The song just kind of speaks for itself. It's great. End of discussion.

7

     Did I mention Timbaland is awesome? Because he is.

7) Song: Give It To Me

    Artist: Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake

    Year It Hit #1: 2007

     Now, if there is one thing that I have always maintained, it is that music should be judged for what's in the song with little to no outside factors having any impact on judging its quality. A song or album or whatever should be judged on its own merits without something arbitrary such as, say, the video or, in some cases, real life events affecting one's view of it. Give It To Me is a prime example of this. If I didn't have that rule I just mentioned, then I would not like this song nearly as much as I do. Heck, I'd probably even hate it. No, none of the beefs were nearly as significant as they were made out to be in this song, and in the hands of less charismatic performers and with a beat that's not nearly as great as the one here, I would have hated this song. And yet, everything here just really clicks. It's just so believable, real beefs or not. Every single line brought out by Timbaland, Nelly Furtado, and JT are straight flames, and they all sound amazing as each of them perform their posturing with so much personality and energy. They all sound like they're having fun with the song, and that's something you really need to do if you wanna get the listener engaged in a song like this, but damn, did each of them pull it off. And again, as is pretty much par for the course when it comes to Timbaland, the beat  is fucking excellent. The punchy tribal drums, that little hypnotizing synth loop that runs throughout the song's entirety, the sparse interjections of keys, they all culminate to create this big, important feel to elevate the song, and it works like fuck.  I am so glad that I do not give a single shit how overblown all of the cases of drama involved in this song are because like most people, I enjoy liking things, and this is a prime example. Some may say this is the biggest mistake of his entire career, but I say it's the best thing he's ever done. Fantastic job here, guys.

6

     Hey, look, a Beyoncé song that's actually awesome for a change. Again. In a different way this time, though.

6) Song: Crazy In Love

    Artist: Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z

    Year It Was #1: 2003

     And Queen Bey strikes again. Welcome back, gurl.
Now, while Beyoncé pretty much built her career off of tearing down guys who did her wrong, you gotta admit, it does get pretty tiring after a while. That's not to say that every single time she does something in that vein that it's pretty much destined to be complete crap (hell, that's how Lemonade was pretty much from start to finish, and that record still turned out absolutely marvelously. Seriously, check that album out if you haven't already), but I dunno, it gets a bit stale after a while. Where she really excels is when she's building a guy up. You have no idea how refreshing it is to see her being supportive of her partner coming from song after song of her just ripping her current mate a new one, and this song right here is easily the best thing......

......the second best thing she's ever done. For starters, this instrumentation is absolutely killer. That horn line is iconic, and it is badass. It's so pumping, so propulsive, just entirely excellent through and through. That's not to say that the rest of the mix isn't just as impressive, though. It's built around this fast paced cowbell loop with the random horn interjections popping in every now and again, leaving Beyoncé herself to carry the melody, and I gotta say, she brings it. Her voice is assertive, dominating, and an all out powerhouse. She's absolutely killer on this song. Then we have Jay-Z, who, I'll admit, I don't think I was ever too big on, but man, when he really wants to be awesome, he sure knows how to bring some pretty great things to the table, as such is the case here where he shows that he has the capability to match his wife's sheer energy and sheer forcefulness when it comes to being head over heels in love with someone, which extends to the simple content about just being madly in love with your current paramour. It's a truly classic song and easily shows why Beyoncé has as many fans as she does.

5

     This is a......weird song, but most definitely in a good way.

5) Song: Fireflies

    Artist: Owl City

    Year It Was #1: 2009

     Let's face it: every now and again, we all need a song that just takes us away from the world. When everything we're dealing with at the moment is just too much to take in, we all need that one song that just brings us to another realm of existence where we are free from our worries and just let out a gigantic sigh of relief. Fireflies is exactly that song for me. Now, I will openly admit that I don't know much about Owl City. I know of this song, Good Time with Carly Rae Jepsen, and Unbelievable with Hanson, and nothing else. However, not gonna lie, they're all pretty good except for that last one. Adam Young has some real presence in his voice, and the level of control this dude has in his vocals is just astounding. Which brings us to Fireflies, unquestionably the song that immediately springs to mind whenever Owl City is mentioned. This song is just a straight up trip through time and space in the most wondrous of ways. The main bleepy-bloopy synth riff sounds incredible, and it meshes surprisingly well with the sweeping strings, soft yet constant backbeat, and hints of piano. Not to mention that the explosion that occurs during the second and third choruses are phenomenal. When I close my eyes and listen to this song, when that hook hits, I just imagine all these pretty colors rushing around me as if I'm traveling warp speed in some sort of time machine or something, and trust me, it is glorious. All of this creates this sort of magical atmosphere, which suits Young's more wistful performance incredibly. But now we come to the main thing about this song: the lyrics. This is a song about a guy's insomnia keeping him up at night, leaving him with nothing but his own thoughts that are constantly eating away at him. He wants something desperately to believe in, but his own feelings of loneliness and hopelessness are preventing that from happening. Then, in the middle of the night, a bunch of fireflies fly in to his room and quickly befriend him, showing him all of the wonders the world has to offer. He grows attached to them as they give him comfort when he's at his lowest, and he feels sad when they leave for all the joy and warmth they fill him with. It's an odd concept, but it works really well, and the parts about how he's alone with his own thoughts and constantly questioning his self worth is really relatable to a lot of people, myself included. It's quite the magical journey that really is worth going on.

4

     As much fun as the OutKast song that made the HMs in part one is, I can't get around the fact that this is just the OutKast song I enjoy the most, and for damn good reason.

4) Song: Ms. Jackson

    Artist: OutKast

    Year It Was #1: 2001

     Let's face it: OutKast are probably the most iconic acts to ever hit the hip hop scene over the past two decades. Based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the duo consisting of Big Boi and André 3000 are two of the best emcees to step onto the rap scene, and this right here, their magnum opus, Ms. Jackson, happens to be one of  the reasons why. Let's get the main reason this song has been praised to death by so many others before me: the content of  the song is handled surprisingly well. The premise of the song is that a man has just broken up with his girl and is now apologizing for everything he did wrong. However, the twist is that they aren't apologizing to the girl so much as the girl's mother, someone who was incredibly critical of their relationship from day one. Andy 3K comes off as more apologetic and sorrowful of what he did to make his girl cry and is asking for the mother's forgiveness. Big Boi, on the other hand, takes a more confrontational approach. He expresses the grievances the guy had with this girl's mom and how she would nitpick at every single turn. Sure, pointing out the major flaws was important, but it seemed like at every single turn, she had a bone to pick with his mingling with her daughter, even if it was the tiniest, most insignificant thing. Worse yet, she would comfort, console, and defend her daughter whenever her daughter and him would fight even in the moments when the daughter was wrong. And the cherry on top comes with the fact that she treats her grandchild as a paycheck rather than an actual human being that needs to be taken care of by a parental figure, something he has taken the liberty of doing the total opposite of her on. All of this is handled with tact and maturity, and Big Boi calling the mother out on all of this is justified because of how much detail is provided and how rightfully deserved all of it is. There are a few insults and curse words thrown her way as well, but to tell the truth, she kinda deserves those as well. It's an emotionally complex song that has so many different things going on yet still feels coherent and masterfully constructed, which can apply to the production and performances as well. André sells his apologies with his admittedly kinda silly but still recognizably sincere singing voice, and the anger and frustration Big Boi shows with his rapping coupled with his energy, charisma, and fast yet steady flow is nothing short of incredible. Add on to that the warping percussion, hazy, prominent synths, tight bass, and little flourishes of piano, and you have yourself one masterclass of excellent hip hop.

3

     Hi, Kevin's favorite artist. Again. And yes, Kevin, I know you like Slow Jamz more, but although I like it, I just didn't like it enough for it to make a list. Sorry, bro. But back to being positive...

Song: Gold Digger

Artist: Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx

Year It Was #1: 2005

     Now, one thing to note about Kanye, apart from his massive as all hell ego, is the fact that he's always up for trying something new, and just that he did with Gold Digger, and if this is what he is capable of when he tells stories, then fuck, I gotta listen to more songs where he does incorporate such cohesive levels of descriptive details together because this is just great. The song focuses on Kanye falling in love with a woman who he thought genuinely loved him back, but it turns out he was bamboozled by her because all she wanted out of him was his money and to leach off of his massive amounts of success in life, and Ye goes into every single painstaking detail surrounding the situation and everything she's spending his money on. From plastic surgery to bottle service for her and all of her friends, most of which was money she was supposed to be using to be taking care of her baby that Kanye thought was his but finds out eighteen years later is the child of her and a guy she was having an affair with behind Kanye's back (damn, this song gets a little dark at that part), she really is something that isn't to be trusted. Kanye even admits at the beginning that he was at fault as well in the situation in the first place for falling in love with her in spite of his friends warning her of all the dangers surrounding her and all the celebrities she's fooled around with and screwed over yet still going with her for her works. And the song ends on a shockingly solid note with West warning anyone like this woman to stay with her man and be good to him because if they're not, then the minute the man catches an opportunity like he did, they're gonna leave. I'm actually glad Kanye didn't go the dark and brooding "feel sorry for me" pity route (even though I kinda do feel sorry for him, honestly) with dreary production and an angsty flow. It would've been way too obvious of a choice, and it most likely would've been a whiny, sludgy whinefest that nobody would want to enjoy no matter how much substance there was behind the lyrics. Instead, thankfully, what we get is a more apathetic performance with a solid flow, some clever humor sprinkled all throughout the track, a hook and ad libs by Jamie Foxx doing a damn near perfect Ray Charles impression throughout the entirety of the song, and some damn solid production. Seriously, between the intense yet controlled percussion, squonking horn line, and the light, almost train-whistle like synths, this song is just a goddamn blast to listen to. Oh, and not to mention that the comedy that's used in the song. Yeah, I like Kanye when his humor is actually funny and not just cringeworthy. All in all, this is fantastic, extraordinary, but don't let it go to your head, Ye. You only made #3 on the list, meaning two songs beat you ou-oh, who am I kidding, he's not gonna see this, and besides, even if he did, he'd let it go to his head anyway. Still, great song.

2

     Spaghetti.

2) Song: Lose Yourself

    Artist: Eminem

    Year It Was #1: 2002-2003

     Oh, Eminem. Slim Shady. Main member of D12. Marshall Bruce Mathers III. What a both complete paladin and total antithesis of who to be as both who to be as a human being and a musician. This man has racked up fans and detractors alike for both the actions he takes in real life as well as the songs and albums he's put out over the course of over a decade. Now, I'm not gonna focus on the former category because, well, as a person who uses this platform to critique music as well as songs, I feel it necessary only to give my opinion on the actions an artist/producer/writer/etc. takes in real life if it is incorporated into any of their songs, and if it's not, I leave it be. However, I will focus 100% on the latter category because, well, I am a music critic after all. It's pretty much my duty to do that, and for ol' Em, there are many people who love anything and everything he puts out, and then there's the other side that's full of those who despise his output and pretty much think anything he touches turns to complete and utter shit. He's had a few number ones in his career, and while I have quite a bit to say about each one (believe me, you have no idea how many positive things I have to say about Love The Way You Lie), we're here to talk about the only #1 he had in the 2000s, Lose Yourself. This song is one of two Eminem songs that whether you love or hate his music, pretty much everyone can agree that this song is fucking awesome. Hell, even fellow music reviewer and ardent loather of Slim Shady's music The Radical Douche admitted in the second part of his collab with Josh aka Cicabeot1 that this was one of the two Eminem songs he enjoyed, the other one being Stan, which easily would've made the cut had it hit #1. (By the way, highly recommend checking both of those guys out. They're both excellent reviewers as well as just really cool people to talk to. Here's a link to part 1 of that collab I mentioned.)
Once again, we find ourselves dealing with an inspirational anthem. I've already touched on my thoughts on this particular trope in music in part one of this list with Live Your Life, so I won't bore you with that again, but I will say that this song takes a different, much more ominous path for this type of song. It's more narrative driven telling the story of a rapper who choked in a rap battle he was preparing for, but he doesn't let that stop him from giving it another go and completely kicking ass the next go-round despite what kinds of remarks people might say about him or his personal life (which, funny enough, spoiler: is also pretty much the entire plot of 8 Mile, the movie's soundtrack this song was made for, and yeah, it's not hard to see why this was picked to be the main themefor it). As well as that, it incorporates the message of following your dreams no matter who or what may stand in your way. It's cliché as all hell, to be sure, but the way in which it's incorporated is just so hard hitting and impactful looking past how tired and overdone said cliché is is pretty much a cake walk. Not to mention that the instrumentation and rapping are absolutely killer. The gritty electric guitar riff against that hip hop beat, that explosion of synths in the chorus, the little piano twinkles at the end, and Eminem just going HAM with his flow, it all creates this aggressive atmosphere that makes me want to wear jacket, flip up the hoodie, put my earbuds in, and go beat some big guy up in a back alley right before I remember that I'm a scrawny white nerd with pretty much no strength in my arms or hands and would get my lights punched out in less than half a second. It's raw, it's forceful, it's bold, and it kicks all amounts of ass. And yet, we still have one song to go. So what could be better than Lose Yourself?

Final honorable mentions:

HM7) Song: So Sick

           Artist: Ne-Yo

           Year It Was #1: 2006

An incredibly slick R&B song about trying to get over a breakup in a tactful and respectful manner with great production and vocals.

HM8) Song: Lady Marmalade

           Artist: Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Myá, & P!nk

           Year It Was #1: 2001

Damn, this is just so sexy. It's rough, it's gritty, it's dirty, it's fun, and I fucking love it.

HM9) Song: Empire State Of Mind

           Artist: Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys

           Year It Was #1: 2009

Say what you want about Jay's bars or his bragging, but Alicia's hook and that production are just way too epic to not enjoy, you gotta admit.

HM10) Song: Fallin'

           Artist: Alicia Keys

           Year It Hit #1: 2001

I know I came down really hard on Alicia Keys in part one of my worst #1's of the '00's list, but I really do like her fine enough, and credit where credit is due, this is an incredibly solid pop song with a soothing piano line, decent lyrical content, great vocals, and an incredibly handled tense-calm dynamic. Now, had A Woman's Worth hit number one, that one would've made the list proper, but still, this is nice. I'll take it.

HM11) Song: Stand Up
             Artist: Ludacris feat. Shawna
             Year It Was #1: 2003

It's just a real banger, yo. Luda's known for that, and he's awesome at it, but I think you already knew that.

HM12) Song: Just Dance

             Artist: Lady GaGa feat. Colby O'Donnis

             Year It Was #1: 2009

Lady GaGa is a musical gift from the heavens, and if you even try to deny that, you're just flat out wrong.

Okay, let's do this.

1

     I deliberated whether or not this one should really count, but in the end, I just said fuck it and counted it anyways, it's just that awesome. I think you all know what it is.

1) Song: Smooth

    Artist: Santana feat. Rob Thomas

    Year It Was #1: 1999-2000

     Now, you've seen me throw curveballs at you in previous lists of mine, whether that be including a widely hated song on my best list (or vice versa), having a completely out of left field top one of my lists, or having a song that is on everyone's lists but not at the top be at the top on mine while the obvious chart toppers be in a lower position than expected or not even be on the list at all. This time around, however, is not one of those times. This is a song that damn near everyone fucking loves and considers one of the best songs if not the best song of all time, and it's not hard to see why.
Now, you could argue that this shouldn't technically count given that it first hit #1 in 1999 and had most of its chart run there, so shouldn't this really be considered a 90s #1 hit? Well,  you could make that case, but here's the thing: in spite of that, this song wound up on both the 1999 year-end chart as well as the 2000 year-end chart, and for decade charts, it landed on both the one for the 90s and the one for the 2000s. In both of those cases, it wound up higher in the latter scenario, being #2 on the YE for '00 as opposed to #19 for 1999, and it was #33 on the decade-end chart for the 2000s whereas it was #41 on the one for the 1990s. So yeah, it was able to chart higher in the 2000s and being remembered as a song from that decade despite technically having more popularity in the previous decade. And let's be real here: everybody, young and old, knows this song. I knew this song instantaneously, and I was merely a 4-year-old little tyke when it was insanely popular.
Do you wanna know why all of that is? BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear to fucking Christ, there is not a single moment of this song that I do not love, and the vast majority of that is due to Mr. Carlos Santana himself, a 70s rock legend who had virtually no success in the 80s or 90s (again, barring '99), but then went on to have tons more success in the 2000s scoring hit after hit on multiple year-end charts. That is fucking insane. No other artist would be able to have such a long time gap after their peak and then return nearly three decades later and have way more success than they ever have, but Santana did it, and what he provides us with on Smooth proves every single reason why. This song is merely a taste of what Santana is capable of bringing to the table. Every single guitar lick that this guy's fingers strum is straight up magical. Every single chord, melody, note structure, they all seem so complex, and yet he just blows through them effortlessly, and they sound awesome. The rest of the mix definitely helps with this too. The conga drums and Latin-inspired sound with its piano, maracas, and tambourine is so upbeat and fun that if you're not up and dancing to this song whenever it comes on, something is seriously wrong with you. The pacing, the tempo, the groove, it's all there, right where it needs to be, everything coming in at exactly the right time sounding exactly the way it needs to sound. And then we have Rob Thomas who, love him or hate him, sounds absolutely magnificent on this song. He just has so much charisma and charm that denying that is damn near impossible. It's clear that he's having fun with the song and we all should be too goddammit. Lyrically, this is about a woman who stays calm and collected and even manages to have fun even in the darkest of times, which can describe this song as a whole. Whatever mood you're in, this song has the power to brighten it further than you ever thought possible and just uplift your spirits to the heavens and beyond. It's timeless, it's fun, it's memorable, it's the transitional song to end all transitional songs, and it is, without fail, the best #1 song of the 2000s. Thank you all for sticking with me throughout this long journey, I hope this was all worth the wait, and I will catch up with you guys later. Take care. :)