Here's something you thought you'd never hear out of me: I don't hate Jason DeRulo. In fact, I kinda like him. In the vast majority of his songs, I found myself blown away at how much energy he brought to the table, either in the emotion of his delivery (Whatcha Say, Marry Me, etc.) or in his choice of instrumentation (The Other Side, Don't Wanna Go Home, etc.). One unfair criticism of Mr. DeRulo is that a lot of the material he provides is nothing more than stupid and asinine, and even I'll admit, he isn't a good lyricist. That said, however, contrary to what the popular belief is, stupid doesn't always equal bad. Songs like Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith, I Love It by Icona Pop feat. Charli XCX, and pretty much anything in Weird Al Yankovic's discography are incredibly stupid, but they're still great songs. Now, don't get me wrong, stupid can also be utterly butchered, and you can see examples of that in The Fox and the Harlem Shake from last year. However, I never took DeRulo seriously, and I guess that's why I never really had a huge issue with him. I didn't even mind his overuse of autotune and stunning lack of personality.
Now, with all that said, you'd think I would enjoy his latest hit song, Wiggle. To that, I respond with this: Oh boy oh boy are you wrong.
Remember what I said about Jason having a lot of energy in his songs? Well, there's not an ounce to be found here. I would've been able to forgive the idiotic lyrics ("go 'head, go ham sammich." I rest my case), but the beat is so boring and grating that I can't get past them. The barely there instrumentation pretty much forces you to focus on the lyrics. Oh, and I wasn't kidding about him being a good lyricist, because these lyrics are beyond imbecilic. If they were any good, they'd be a redeeming quality to this song. They aren't, though, so they're not. Lastly, let's not forget that awkward pause after he says "you know what to do with that big fat butt." To me, that awkward pause represents the people who helped in the making of this song thinking "Dear God, he didn't just say that, did he?" Finally, there's Snoop's verse, which can be described using the following four words: monotonous, boring, lame, disgusting.
Overall, Wiggle is an unlistenable mess with absolutely nothing saving it from being terrible. I give it a 0 out of 5, and it's really sad I have to because I know Jason DeRulo can do so much better, but that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess.
(Note: Just because I give a song a negative rating doesn't mean I will look down on or bash anyone who happens to enjoy said song I gave the aforementioned negative rating towards. Please keep that in mind if you see me give a high rating to a song you dislike.)
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