Top 10 Best Hit Songs Of 2014

Well, we've gotten the garbage taken care of, now it's time to discuss the truly great songs to have come out and gotten big this year, and make no mistake, every song on here is amazing. In all ways too from the dumb and fun to the smart and well produced. So, without any hesitation, let's start this shindig off with some honorable mentions.




HM1) Song: Bang Bang
           Artist: Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj
           Year-End Position: 27

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDdjwpPM3Y

What can I say about this one? The beat to this one is highly energetic and fun to listen to, each performer brings their A-game (yes, even Nicki), and the lyrics, while they are the typical cliché of saying "I'm better at sex than her," kinda do something pretty unique with it by playing with the good girl/bad girl dichotomy and sorta makes it sound like Jessie and Ariana are competing for the guy in question. I don't know why I find so much enjoyment in that, I just do. I do wish it had a bit more staying power, but this is still a really fun and catchy pop tune that I really dig.




HM2) Song: Story Of My Life
           Artist: One Direction
           Year-End Position: 24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-TE_Ys4iwM

Straying away from the typical boy band material proved to be a really good decision for One Direction as this song quite clearly proves. It's an attempt 1D makes to show a more personal side in their songwriting, and it works surprisingly well, especially in the delivery and instrumentation. A few lyrical stumbles unfortunately keep this one off the list, but there's no denying that this song really is a rarity when it comes to boy bands and how sometimes something different can pay off really well in the end.




HM3) Song: Shake If Off
          Artist: Taylor Swift
          Year-End Position: 13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

Anyone who saw my original review of this song knows that I wasn't too big a fan of this song when it first came out. Since then, however, it has grown on me immensely to where it is now a song I thoroughly enjoy a lot. It's got a lot of energy backing it, Taylor has a lot of energy and charisma in this track, and overall it's a song that's really fun with a lot of quirky moments. It may be about haters, but that doesn't bother me too much. Anytime I hear it. I jam out.




HM4) Song: Trumpets
           Artist: Jason DeRulo
           Year-End Position: 61

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOAfz0H4f00

I know I've been a bit hard on DeRulo lately, but he has still made songs I liked this year, and this is the proof.  This is just pure, dumb fun. It's energetic production that has a lot of texture and variety in its mix, Jason's smooth vocals, and the lyrics that, while awkward and stupid, have a certain admirable charm to them, I just couldn't help but really like this song. It comes off as less of a serious sex jam and more of a happy jam about how being head over heels in love can make you say some stupid things sometimes, and I can't help but appreciate how much it does with that and does it surprisingly well. What else can I say about it? It's just a really fun song.




HM5) Song: Bailando
           Artist: Enrique Iglesias feat. Sean Paul, Descember Bueno, & Gente de Sona
           Year-End Position: 38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8I-7Wk_Vbc

A return to the Latin flavor style that made Enrique Iglesias big to begin with that's really great to listen to with interjections from Sean Paul and the two unknowns that is fun to listen to both in English and Spanish? Okay, quick tip, Enrique: more stuff like this, less stuff like Tonight (I'm "Lovin'" You). You're way more suited for this style right here.




HM6) Song: She Looks So Perfect
           Artist: 5 Seconds Of Summer
           Year-End Position: 93

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2BYmmTI04I

I honestly get the feeling that people really only hate this song because of that American Apparel underwear line, and honestly, I find that a real shame because this song is pretty damn awesome. The rollicking rock energy this song brings to the table is phenomenal, and the vocals by lead singer Luke Hemmings and backing vocalist Calum Hood are pretty excellent. Lyrically, aside from that one line everyone seems to hate so much, it's a song about hooking up with a love interest and ditching a deadbeat town, and honestly, there may not be much to how the song is delivered content-wise, but performance-wise, the song just gets sold in nearly every conceivable facet for me. I honestly do wish people would look past that one line because outside of that, I really don't see anything negative about this song. It's just a shame that they followed this with the terrible Amnesia. Oh well, at least we still have this song.



HM7) Song: I Don't Dance
           Artist: Lee Brice
           Year-End Position: 98

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBEBbgQEJy4

Okay, I know I've been pretty hard on country music on this blog, but I don't want you to believe that I hate the genre or anything, far from it as I actually quite like it, and songs like I Don't Dance prove that. The instrumentation is lush and is really well suited for Brice's vocals, which are awesome, not to mention how genuine and just heartwarming the lyrics of how he'll willingly do anything that he normally wouldn't to for the woman he's truly in love with are. Yeah, it's done to death and cliché, but Lee brings a lot to the table with it, and it's still a nice listen overall.




HM8) Song: Chandelier
           Artist: Sia
           Year-End Position: 25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vjPBrBU-TM

Wow, this song has really grown on me over time. I can't believe this used to be a dishonorable mention on my worst list. It's awesome as heck. Everything that Chandelier has to offer just screams sheer power and desperation in the best ways possible. The production is epic, bombastic, and full of energy, not to mention how sweeping and moving it is. Sia is just throwing herself into her performance with just such raw intensity and emotion that it's hard to be mad at. That's not even touching on the lyrics that describe the struggle of a woman who's trapped by alcoholism and having nothing left in her life but a vapid, endless cycle of partying. While I'm still not a big fan of Sia absolutely shredding her vocal cords or how the percussion crushes the mix in to this sort of slurry mess, and while I do wish there was just a tiny bit more to the lyrics and much prefer a similar song that came out later in the year (trust me, we'll get to it), this is still DAMN good.




HM9) Song: Let It Go
    Artist: Idina Menzel
    Year-End Position: 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

Aaaaand here come the droves of people who will inevitably say stuff like "that's not a real song" or "it's just a desperate cash grab from Disney" or something to that effect, but even if it is, so what? It's still a damn good song, and yes, it is a song. wildly popular movie or non.
The instrumentation starts off a soft, beautiful piano ballad, but as the song progresses, transforms in to this grandiose, sweeping mass of strings and piano chords that combine with Menzel's strident vocals wonderfully for a piece of music that's just absolutely marvelous. But the real star of the show is the lyrics, and even without the context of Frozen's main character, Elsa, coming to terms with everything that's happened to her, they still do a magnificent job of conveying a message of not letting one's shortcomings hold him/her back anymore and being himself/herself and honest about who he/she really is. It's a great message spoken with such poetic lyricism that I just couldn't help but love and respect it. Disney, you are geniuses. As long as we don't get anymore Cars or Chicken Little, you will always continue to be amazing.



HM10) Song: All Of Me
            Artist: John Legend
            Year-End Position: 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg

Yes, I love All Of Me for John Legend. Now, before you grab your pitchforks, allow me to explain. First off, John Legend has a voice of pure gold. He just has a lot of smoothness and raw, unbridled texture that it's just hard to deny. Second, although the melody isn't very complex and only uses the standard 4 chords of pop, it's what it does with those chords that's truly magnificent and adds a lot of class and elegance to the backing instrumentation, which is very important for a song of this caliber. Finally, I know a lot of people have complained about how he points out the negative things about the woman in question and says that he loves them as well as the positive things about her, but honestly, if you ask me, that actually works in this song's favor. It's a celebration of not only her more favorable features, but also her flaws, both of which are also things he points out in himself as well. Ultimately, what this is is an acknowledgement that both of them are human and that while they may have their flaws and mess up from time to time, they still love each other and are willing to stay faithful no matter what, and I have no idea how anyone could scoff at that. It's just a really beautiful song.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's move on to the really awesome stuff. Let's go.




10)  Song: Talk Dirty
       Artist: Jason DeRulo feat. 2 Chainz
       Year-End Position: 6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbtPXFlZlHg

Surprised to see this here? Yeah, well, so am I. Y'know what, though? Screw it. Talk Dirty is a fun song, and there is no and I mean NO denying that. The sample of Hermetico by Balkan Beat Box fits in flawlessly and offers a variety of melodic buildups and one hell of a crescendo with textured bongo percussion and just a ton of energy behind it. Jason's vocals mixed wonderfully with this production, and he sounds like he's really enjoying himself, which he should, so thumbs up there. As far as lyrical content goes, it's all pretty stupid, but I'd argue that very little of it actually comes off as offensive, and even then, not very. I'd argue that it handles the subject of going around the world and hooking up with different international chicks fairly well as very little actual disrespect is shown. Mainly what's shown is DeRulo (as well as 2 Chainz) and these various foreign women having a good time together (mainly through sex, but still). Hell, even 2 Chainz is riding this song fairly well with a good level of wordplay, decent flow, and actually sounding enthused about what he's rapping about. It would've been higher on the list, but......."her pussy so good, I bought her a pet".........yeah, I'd be lying if I said that there weren't at least *some* lyrics that weren't so good on here. Still, damn great song.

9) Song: White Walls
    Artist: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. ScHoolboy Q & Hollis
    Year-End: 92

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PLifPUIuic

Topping my best list last year with his incredible LGBT-rights anthem Same Love, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis earn a spot on my best list this year with this well thought out, well produced piece of awesomeness. The flow from Macklemore is top notch, the beautiful chorus courtesy of Hollis is amazing, ScHoolboy Q's verse is pretty great, and the production is Ryan Lewis' finest to date. What really drives this one home (no pun intended), are the lyrics. Normally, I'm not a big fan of songs where it's just someone bragging about their car (as evidenced by Bugatti from last year), but this one sets itself apart from the rest because instead of saying "hey, look at this overpriced foreign car I bought that you'll never be able to afford because it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars," Mack has actually earned the right to brag about the Cadillac in question because it was actually an older one that was handed down to him from his grandfather which he actually put hard work and effort in to restoring. On top of that, it only cost him $30,000.00 to do so, and that's actually a figure quite a bit of people can actually afford. Brag rap? Yes. A damn good one? You better believe it.




8) Song: Leave The Night On
    Artist: Sam Hunt
    Year-End Position: 76

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuMiMBjcvWU

Proof positive that not all bro country is inherently bad, Leave The Night On is a tune that is just filled to the brim with just pure happiness and energy. It does have a drum machine, but for the most part, it still sounds very very country, and when dealing with country music's sound, that's all I ask for. There is just so much texture, and it's so bubbly that it made me happier and happier with each subsequent listen. The production is really smooth, Hunt's vocals are really nice to listen to, and the lyrics about taking the love interest in question out for a night on the town are just so sweet and delivered with so much passion that I just couldn't help but smile. That's really the best way I can describe this song: the musical equivalent of one giant, joyous smile that puts anyone who looks at it in the best of moods.


7) Song: The Monster
    Artist: Eminem feat. Rihanna
    Year-End Position: 16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHkozMIXZ8w

After years of some......less than impressive material, Marshall Mathers finally returned with probably his best work in years with The Marshall Mathers LP2. Headlights may be my favorite song from the album, but this is definitely a close second. The beat is tight, Rihanna's chorus is beautiful, Eminem's flow is great, and he seems genuinely worried about his fame messing him up. All the stress really seems to be getting to him, and it really is disconcerting. He tackles the issue with tact and grace. and doesn't give us any reason to say "you don't sound like you have it so hard" because come on, Eminem has been through some tough s**t in his life. Let the guy vent a little. He also says that he'll endure it so long as it helps at least one person out in their life, and really, can you honestly say that's anything but just admirable? I don't think so. This is just a well produced, well thought out, well delivered song that is just really great to listen to. Seriously if you don't own The Marshall Mathers LP2..,..what are you waiting for. then? Put down the Cheetos and go pick yourself up a copy because it's awesome.




6) Song: Ain't It Fun
    Artist: Paramore
    Year-End Position: 47

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFEmTsfFL5A

I've already reviewed this song, so if you wanna see that, you can click here, but let me just state that to answer the question presented in the title of the song, hell yeah, it's fun. Seriously, I dare you not to jam out to this rockin' tune with tight instrumentation, Hayley Williams' high energy vocals, and the message that you won't be so hot out in the real world if you get everything handed to you while you're living at home. Admittedly, this song has worn off on me a bit, but I still really enjoy it. Keep up the good work, Paramore.




5) Song: Don't
    Artist: Ed Sheeran
    Year-End Position: 52

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD2rhdFRehU

I gotta tell you guys something: I really like Ed Sheeran, and even though I'll never forgive him for inflicting Little Things on to us via One Direction, I still really enjoy his material, even his wgwag stuff. I liked The A Team, I liked Sing, and Lego House would've been on my best list last year had it been on the year end chart. I didn't think it was possible, but somehow he got better this year, giving us what is easily his best single to date. The instrumentation is upbeat and funky, the vocals are great, the narrative in the lyrics is amazing and make it really easy to sympathize with Sheeran (and justifiably so), and, well, what else do I need to say about it? Take a listen, and experience the awesomeness for yourself.




4) Song: Birthday
    Artist: Katy Perry
    Year-End Position: 80

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqYxyd1iSNk

Nope. I'm not even gonna pretend to be sorry. This is a fun song that I like that I'm not gonna apologize for.
Has anyone else noticed that pop songs about birthdays generally suck? Birthday Sex by Jeremih, Birthday Song by 2 Chainz, Birthday by Selena Gomez, Birthday Cake by Rihanna, all of those songs blow. Why is it so hard to make a birthday themed pop song? It doesn't seem that hard. All you really have to do is get the mood right. Thankfully for us, we finally got a good one this year: this awesome tune. Everything about this song just works, from its disco inspired instrumentation in the vein of Last Friday Night (TGIF), Katy's high energy vocals, and let's not forget about the lyrics. Why is it that every birthday themed pop song always has to do with sex? Well, not this one (not all of it, anyway). Sure, there are some......less than subtle innuendos ("it's time to bring out the big balloons"), but I can easily forgive them because the main point of the song isn't sex, but rather that a guy is feeling down and that she just wants to brighten up his day up. I defy you if you're able to scoff at that. Do I really need to say anything else? It's just a really bouncy song that's a hell of a lot of fun to listen to.




3) Song: Demons
    Artist: Imagine Dragons
    Year-End Position: 23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRsgZuwf_8

I've waited far too long to talk about this song, and I am so glad I'm now getting the opportunity to.
I love everything about this song. It is easily, in my opinion, Imagine Dragons' best song to date. The instrumentation starts off soft and calm to keep Dan Reynolds' sad sounding (and amazing) vocals in the central spotlight. then all of a sudden we have a punch of energy from the chorus hitting you at full force, and the way it alternates between the two really works for me. All of these elements suit the lyrics of a guy facing his demons and taking on his personal problems head on perfectly as they are dark, somber, and serious, which is exactly how it's supposed to sound. I loved this song from the first time I heard it last summer, and I still love it and play it on my iPod to this day. It is that awesome.





2) Song: Habits (Stay High)
     Artist: Tove Lo
     Year-End Position: 32

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2LWWORoiM

I've heard many people say that this song "doesn't really have a deeper meaning" and "just glorifies drug use," but quite frankly, I couldn't disagree more. I found this song to be about a woman for who the pain of the break up she went through is so great that she'll do anything from drugs to sex to clubbing in order to keep the guy in question as far away from her mind as possible. A lot would argue that it's not a song about a relationship as she doesn't mention the partner outside of the chorus, but my rebuttal is that that symbolizes her trying to forget the guy in question, something that IS mentioned in the chorus. Also, that bridge where she says "staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain't got no end, oh, can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain." What she's saying is that she's in this rut where she's pretending to have fun, but she's really just fooling herself to keep her mind off of the pain she's currently experiencing, and she's looking for someone to go home with in order to quell her fear of being lonely. If that doesn't tug at your heartstrings, I don't know what will. Not to mention that the production and vocals on this song are superb. They're downplayed during the verses and bridge to show how burnt out all of this can make someone, and the chorus is full of energy and just exudes raw emotion, and coupled with Tove Lo's strident vocals, it all coincides perfectly. What could possibly beat it out? Well.............




1) Song(s): Best Day Of My Life/Come With Me Now/Pompeii
    Artist(s): American Authors/KONGOS/Bastille
    Year-End Position: 31/88/12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y66j_BUCBMY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2GVlQkn4Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F90Cw4l-8NY

Yep, the rock music from this year was so amazing that I had to include not one, not two, but three songs for my #1 spot, and for good reason because they're all really freaking awesome.
Let's start with Best Day Of My Life, the most joyous of the three. Now, If there's one thing I know about music, it's that if a song is going to put you in a mood, it really has to get the tone right, especially a song about being extremely happy, and while I do like Happy by Pharrell Williams (the song that wound up being the #1 song on the year-end chart this year), it wore off on me as it kinda felt more like it was trying to force me in to being happy rather than letting it happen on its own. Don't get me wrong, I do still enjoy Happy, but I feel like if you're gonna create a song like that that'll stay with the listener, you gotta let the process naturally. Fortunately for us, this awesome piece of Indie Rock was here to solve that. Everything about this song works, from its feel good lyrics, the plucky banjo, the high energy vocals and instrumentation, everything.
Then we have Come With Me Now, the most energetic of the three, and man, what isn't there to enjoy about this song? This is the closest we've come to having a metal song on the charts in a long time, and I can't really think that's a bad thing, mostly because to say that the song is damn awesome would be an understatement. Everything about this song is just near perfection from the stomping energy, the awesome sound of the accordion and guitars with that really driving percussion, the way the instrumentation and rough, loud vocals blend in to this cacophonous explosion that's just extremely powerful and works like gangbusters, the lyrics describing a man leaning towards his own demise and just getting that one final burst of craziness and insanity in before he tumbles in to the dark pits of Hell, not to mention the little sprinkles of agnosticism throughout, is it really any wonder why this song is so highly praised by critics and is topping nearly everyone's best list? Honestly, I think if I was only allowed to pick one song from the group to top this list, it most likely would be this one.
Finally, we have Pompeii, the most interesting of the three. This was one of the first hits of 2014, and really, I can't be happier that this song got so popular. Something darker than what we're used to seeing on the charts, Pompeii is an excellent track that takes an interesting concept and turns it in to something absolutely mind-blowing. The song is about two corpses frozen in their ashy demise by the destruction and annihilation of the city of Pompeii caused by Mt. Vesuvius' eruption of 79 AD, essentially boiling down to them left wondering where to go after the chaos and wondering what should be dealt with first, the physical mess and rubble left behind or one's spirituality, mortality, and confession of one's sins. That's really deep, man. Oh, and you bet your ass the backing instrumentation aids the tone of the song and really helps it out. Seriously, it's amazing with its hollow feel, tribal chanting in the background, melodic synths, driving percussion, seriously, it's excellent. Lastly, let's not forget the main star of the show, Dan Smith's vocals. He just has more than enough raw emotion and charisma that you need to pull this type of thing off. In the hands of a less charismatic performer, this song would've been placed at probably #3 or #4 on this list, but Smith just really has enough of an emotive presence to really push this thing over the top.
So yeah, a song about the feeling of elation that doesn't just say happy over and over, a dark, twisted rock song that just screams of going crazy, and a dark, macabre song about the destruction of an ancient city. Who could ask for anything more? Hope you guys liked the lists. I'll check back you all in 2015. Until then, Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a very happy new year.

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs Of 2014

Well, guys, it's that time of year again. It's time to look back at the year of music as a whole according to the Billboard year-end hot 100 and pick out what I consider to be the best and worst of them all. First, new rule: a song's eligible for this list so long as it was on the Billboard year-end hot 100 and didn't make either of my lists from last year. With that out of the way, a retrospective of 2014 as a year in music.

Man, what a painfully average year. For the most part, the good songs weren't that good, and the bad songs weren't that bad. It was also a pretty sloppy year for music as we never knew when a truly great or horrifically awful song would be brought to us, and it always took us by surprise when we found out which it was if it wasn't in the same boat mentioned earlier that a lot of the other songs were. Still, that doesn't mean they weren't hard to find, so let's get this crapfest rolling, but first some dishonorable mentions.

DHM1) Song: This Is How We Roll
              Artist: Florida Georgia Line & Luke Bryan
              Year-End Position: 49

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbxuXq_981s

While I don't think this is the worst bro-country song of the year (trust me, we'll get to it), I still can't bring myself to like it. The instrumentation is clunky, FGL's performance is tolerable at best, Luke Bryan's cameo was way too short and a complete waste of time, the rapping in the second verse is unpleasant to listen to, and overall, this song is just a generic bro-country party song in the most bland and homogeneous way possible. There were quite a bit of bro country songs that I could tolerate (and some I actually like), but this obviously wasn't one of them.




DHM2) Song: Amnesia
      Artist: 5 Seconds Of Summer
      Year-End Position: 86

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCCJCILiX3o

I don't mind the "white guy with acoustic guitar" genre like others seem to, but some of them do get under my skin, and this would be one of them. A lot of criticism has been thrown of She Looks So perfect, and while I see why, I actually wound up liking that song because of how incredibly fun, bouncy, and quirky it was, and yes, that includes the American Apparel underwear line. The same can't be said, however, about Amnesia, a completely boring slog to listen to that has an ugly "I hope you're unhappy because we broke up" sentiment that is detestable in every sense (which it later contradicts with the line "when he says the words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?," which, to be fair, shows that the narrator cares at least a little underneath all the hate. Still not enough to save the song, though). Not to mention how extremely whiny it is. This one is so lucky that it's at least musically nice to listen to. Otherwise, it'd be a lot higher. 5SOS, you're better than this.

DHM3) Song: Adore You
              Artist: Miley Cyrus
              Year-End Position: 100

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1tzURKYFNs
Say what you will about We Can't Stop. At least the production sounded nice, and at least Miley tried to liven the mood with her vocals. The same cannot be said, however, about Adore You, easily Cyrus' most sleep-inducing song to date. Everything about this song is just so boring and monotone that you'd swear that it was a musical form of Lunesta. Neither the production nor the vocals stray from the one single key it's in all throughout the song, nothing gets upkeyed at all, and the hackneyed lovey dovey "I love you so much. We'll be together forever" lyrics don't add anything interesting to the song whatsoever. It's not infuriatingly bad, but it's still worthy of being a dishonorable mention. FU really should've been the 3rd single from Bangerz instead of this schlock.




DHM4) Song: Partition
              Artist: Beyoncé
              Year-End Position: 95

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ12_E5R3qc

Okay, who thought it was a good idea to hear Beyoncé rap again? Seriously, didn't we learn this lesson from Diva? Look, I have no problem with songs being explicitly sexual (as evidenced by Body Party being on my best list last year), but I do have a limit, and this goes over that limit. Not to mention that the production is so boring that you pretty much have no choice to focus on the disgusting lyrics such as "he popped all my buttons & he ripped my blouse, he Monica Lewinski'd all on my gown," to which my response is EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This one was the hardest to cut from the list, and it shouldn't be too hard to see why.




DHM5) Song: Cool Kids
              Artist: Echosmith
              Year-End Position: 59

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSCzDykng4g

If there is one word to describe this song, it would be pandering. It's basically saying "hey, are you down, alone, and just want to fit in? Me too," which I gotta ask, why would you want to make a song like that? I know it's supposed to be relatable, but it would ultimately only add to the depressed mood of the listener and wouldn't really do anything to solve the problem. It's a real shame that this is as bad as it is, too, because it had potential to be an anthem of cheering someone up in the vein of Carry On by fun. or Keep Your Head Up by Andy Grammer. Oh well, at least the instrumentation and the vocals sound pretty nice.

DHM6/7) Song(s): No Mediocre/Na Na
              Artist: T.I. feat. Iggy Azalea (and DJ Mustard)/Trey Songz (and DJ Mustard)
              Year-End Position(s): 87/53

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdsTUfDTEhQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Gu_Yh_ke

It's no surprise that DJ Mustard was ubiquitous all throughout 2014, nor is it really much of a surprise how bland and flavorless he was and that pretty much all of his singles sound exactly the same. This one in particular, though, is getting a dishonorable mention for having the most wasted potential. I really saw the reggae-style beat going somewhere, but nope, it's just the same four notes with the same percussion and the same gang vocals all throughout with T.I. offering a generic brag rap with a mumbled and hard to understand delivery. Thankfully, Iggy saves the song with a pretty good verse, but overall, this song could've been so much more than the ironically extremely mediocre mess that it was.
Na Na is just a boring and droning song about a guy trying to get with a girl by convincing her how awesome he is with a possible allusion to rape ("Girl I know you're ready, I ain't even gotta check." Yep. Rape). The song tries to go for a darker atmosphere with the strings and oddly unfitting gang vocals, but it just does not work with the subject matter given. Oh, and don't even get me started on just how lifeless Trey Songz's vocals on this song are.





DHM8) Song: Rude
    Artist: MAGIC!
    Year-End Position: 7

                                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk

I've already done a review of this song, so if you wanna see my thoughts, you can find that here, but I will reiterate my main points against this song: this a bland piece of cod reggae with a whiny crybaby of a lead singer and a disjointed narrative. The father just said he didn't want you marrying his daughter. He wasn't being too rude just by doing that. Also, it was incredibly pointless of you to ask the father in the first place if you were just gonna say "screw it, I'll marry her anyway." Ugh, ju...just screw this song.




DHM9) Song: Latch
                Artist: Disclosure feat. Sam Smith
               Year-End Position: 28

                                          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93ASUImTedo

Oh boy, I'm gonna make a whole mess of people mad with this one, but yeah, I do not like Latch in the slightest. I don't like how underweight the synths are, that grinding bassline in the chorus, just how little energy the song has as a whole, the lyrics that, while about a simple hug, when they include lines talking about how the person in question is "shackled" in his embrace, come off more as creepy than anything else, and most of all, I really don't like Sam Smith's vocals. Well, during the chorus, anyway. He does a fine enough job in the verses. When the chorus rolls around, however, he just lets out this screechy mess where his falsetto, which is normally golden and amazing to listen to, is just covered in all sorts of vocals effects and autotune to make it sound as unpleasant as possible. I wanted to like this song, I really did, but in the end, I have to put it here. Sorry.



DHM10) Song: Lifestyle
                Artist: Rich Gang feat. Young Thug & Rich Homie Quan
               Year-End Position:72

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGt_JGHYEO4

Boy, talk about a drain on the brain to listen to. Okay, on some level, I see why some people like this song. It's a dumb luxury rap song where if you turn your brain off, you might be able to enjoy it, and I won't lie, the simple bass and softer synths actually create a pretty decent beat. That being said, while the beat is actually okay, it's not nearly strong enough to handle the heaping mounds of s**t it's dealing with from the performers. Or, should I say performer considering that most of this song belongs to Young freaking Thug. Okay, let me just say right now that I have found a hip hop artist who's worse than Future, something I never thought was possible. I would judge the lyrics...if I could understand them.  What is it with Young Thug and this mumbly, off key delivery he's so fond of that makes him sound like he swallowed a bee that later stung him in the vocal chords? Grating would be an understatement. It's puke inducing. I may get the appeal of this song, but that doesn't mean I don't dislike it, and believe me, I dislike this song heavily.




Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, on to the real trash.




10) Song: Maps
    Artist: Maroon 5
    Year-End Position: 29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj6fHiF8Osg

For those of you that remember, Love Somebody was originally #10 on my worst list last year, but that one surprisingly grew on me. I can safely say, however, that the same cannot be said about Maps. Keep in mind that I am someone who not only likes M5's older stuff, but will openly defend their post-sellout material as well. Payphone, Daylight, Animals, hell even One More Night (which is an honorable mention for my best list for 2012), but not this one. First off, this production is a complete mess. The ascending guitar line is flimsy, the percussion is barely there, and the flaccid synths all refuse to come together to form a coherent sound. On top of that, it keeps feeling like it's building up to something, but no crescendo ever happens, and it's a big letdown. Lyrically, they're pretty useless. The guy in question is constantly put down and is treated negatively in terms of emotions from this girl, and yet he misses the time they spent together because.....I don't know, tater tots. Say what you want about Me & My Broken Heart, but at least that guy was having a real internal conflict, still loved her, and was having an internal conflict as to why. The guy in Maps doesn't even have that. He seems as though he's just pursuing her for sex. Not cool, dude. The sticking point for me, though, is Adam Levine's vocal delivery. I usually don't mind his falsetto (and actually like it in a few cases), but he's never sounded more shrill, grating, and even pretty bored than he does in this song, and the fact he uses that falsetto throughout the entire song is just cringefuriating. Overall, though, it's very bland and forgettable, which isn't a big enough crime to land it any higher on the list, especially considering what other monstrosities this year brought us, but it's still garbage nonetheless. Maroon 5, I love ya and all, but this one stinks.




9)  Song: My "Hitta"
     Artist: YG feat. Young Jeezy & Rich Homie Quan (AND DJ F***ING MUSTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
     Year-End Position: 58

                                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSrTnWDTdwI

DJ Mustard, you are just the worst.
This is easily Mustard's worst beat to date. It's nothing but a discordant mess of trippy synths, odd reverb saturated bells, and the grating bass. Of course, it doesn't help how unlistenable every one of the performer's flow on this song is, how repetitive and lazy the song is just being nothing more than just a quick and stupid way to see how many times these guys can rhyme the N-word with itself, and the only thing saving it from the list is the fact that the concept of YG and his friends sticking together and having each others' backs is pretty admirable. Seriously, screw this song, and aside from 2 On, Show Me, and to some degree Don't Tell 'Em, screw DJ Mustard. NEXT!




8) Song: Drunk In Love
    Artist: Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z
    Year-End Position: 35

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1JPKLa-Ofc

Well, if there is one thing I can say about this song, it's that the title is appropriate, because this song sound's like if the other hit Beyoncé had with Jay-Z, Crazy In Love, was a sloppy, drunken mess. It's songs like this that show that over the years, Beyoncé has just lost her touch and isn't really able to make music as great as she used to. The beat is dark and sloppy, Beyoncé's vocals on this are slurred and grating, the lyrics are filled to the brim with double entendres that don't make sense in the slightest, Jay-Z's verse is incoherent, stilted, and disgusting, and overall this song is just an unlistenable mess. It's tracks like these that make me want songs like Pour It Up back, and that should never ever happen.

7) Song: Let Her Go
    Artist: Passenger
    Year-End Position: 19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA

Yes, I know this is a leftover from 2013, but I didn't start to actively hate it until early 2014, and now that I do, I LOATHE this song. Once again, I don't have the burning hatred for the "white guy with acoustic guitar" genre that most people seem to, but again, that doesn't mean there aren't some that are nothing more than complete dreck, and songs like Amnesia & Let Her Go prove that. I'm usually fine with a song having just the standard 4 chords of pop and nothing more, but something creative has to be done with them for a good song to result. Here, unlike in Amnesia, they're just bare bones with nothing creative or original done with them. Passenger's vocals, while tolerable, are sure to give me the yawns any day of the week. Finally, for the lyrics, it's supposed to be framed as this song where Passenger is helping a friend through the tough times of a breakup, but what it comes across as is him talking down to the friend and mercilessly berating him and putting him on blast, which comes across as downright offensive at points. Not to mention how inane that chorus is, which basically just boils down to "you only need one thing when the opposite happens." Also, if the only way to know that he truly loves her is to let her go, that's logically detrimental to him as he'll then want her back, the spark will be gone once he gets back with her, and it's just going to be this vicious emotional cycle that just won't be pretty. I know it's supposed to be saying "if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's meant to be, etc.," but it's just so awkwardly phrased that I can't look past it.
Look, again, there are some genuinely good acoustic ballads out there, but this one is just absolute garbage.




6) Song: Wiggle
    Artist: Jason DeRulo feat. Snoop Dogg
    Year-End Position: 40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiP14ED28CA

Yet another one that I've already done a review of, which you'll find here, so once again, I'll just recap what my main problems with this song were: the stiff, grating, boring instrumentation with the recorder being played during the hook can't back up the absolutely asinine and idiotic lyrics brought on by DeRulo himself, and Snoop's verse is not only his laziest work to date, but is also extremely disgusting and providing of imagery that's way too vivid. Really, the only thing keeping this from being any higher is that at least Jason sounds like he's enjoying himself. Good for you, DeRulo, but this song still blows. NEXT!




5) Song: Dark Horse
    Artist: Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
    Year-End Position: 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KSOMA3QBU0

Oh, I bet you all saw this one coming, didn't you. Alright, let's get the obvious out of the way: Katy Perry is not a dark horse. She isn't in terms of her massive success and riches as a pop star, and given the fact that she knew the guy in question would come to her, she's not one in context of the song either. That's only a speck of what's wrong with this song, though. First off, this beat is atrocious. It's looping, drunken, choppy synth combined with the leaden, speaker-destroying bass is grating to no end, and it's even more cringefuriating as Adam Levine's falsetto in Maps. The buildup does sound pretty nice, which is why this isn't higher (but only just barely, and there was worse crap that we will get to), but like Maps, it has nothing to offer, only this time, it's even more disappointing because as nice as that buildup sounded (apart from those ill-fitting gang vocals), you would've expected SOME sort of drop to hold all of this together, but no, we just get the monotony that we get with the rest of the song. The rest of the lyrics aside from the obvious misuse of the dark horse metaphor is a hodgepodge of references to magic and ancient Egypt and all sorts of stuff that doesn't feel cohesive in the slightest. None of it connects at all, and it certainly doesn't mesh with Katy trying and failing to sound dark and mysterious instead of totally checked out and phoned in. And then there's Juicy J's verse. It's crap. Was that really that shocking? His flow is stilted, the gangsta vibe he tries for doesn't fit at all, none of his wordplay rises above mediocre at best, and dude, Princess Aurora was already in a coma that Prince Philip had to get her out of, not one he had to put her in. God, I used to like this song? The hell was I on?

4) Song: Loyal

    Artist: Chris Brown feat. Tyga & Lil Wayne

    Year-End Position: 30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXRN_LkCa_o

AAAAARGH!!!! Why did we let HIM back in to the music world? I'll be damned if this isn't Chris Brown's most obnoxious, hateful, misogynistic, disrespectful song to date. This song is just plain insulting. Between its overuse of swearing, lack of charisma on the part of Brown himself (who we have to wait through for the majority of the song), and completely ugly attitude towards the female gender, this song is nothing more than CB getting back at all of the women who wouldn't have sex with him. Not only is there a lot of grade A hypocrisy in this song, but there's also a lot of messy and contradictory lines in the song. Seriously, Chris, do you want this girl to show you something, or did you take her to the bay with you? Also, if these women were staying true to their partners, you knew they had boyfriends, and yet you still willingly had sex with them despite this, that makes you the unloyal one, Chris, not them. The beat is okay at first, but it just gets more and more boring with each listen. Lil Wayne's verse is okay, but not great, and Tyga just derails the song and turns it into a generic brag rap track. Seriously, though, the fault lies squarely with Chris Brown and his douchebaggery, and while I thought his other song on the year-end chart, New Flame, was okay, I think I can speak for all of us when I say this: Chris Brown, go the hell away.

3) Song: Anaconda
    Artist: Nicki Minaj
    Year-End Position: 36

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDZX4ooRsWs

Truly a song that epitomizes the sound of the bottom of the barrel being scraped, absolutely zilch about Anaconda works at all. I'd actually throw this in the same dumpster that most people throw Whatcha Say by Jason DeRulo and 5 O'Clock by T-Pain in that it takes a classic song that everyone knows and utterly butchers and misses the point of it. The entire point of Baby Got Back was that one should love how their body no matter the flaw (of course this doesn't mean just ignore what your doctor tells you and all that, but come on, that should be implied), but what this song pretty much says is "if you are a skinny b**ch, get up and get the f**k out of the club because only the women with big butts are allowed." It's shallow, hateful, and just downright harsh. Well, that all comes at the end of the song, anyway, through some incoherent babble and an insufferable cackle. The first two verses are nothing more than incoherent stories pretty much about how Nicki just has sex with guys because they sell drugs, and because of this, these guys now owe her material objects. The "sample" is lazy as all hell, the inflections on her voice is grating to no end, the lyrics are shallow and self-centered in the worst ways possible, and what they do to the sample during the hook is just plain inexcusable. I mean, did they really have to include chipmunk voices, easily the most unlistenable and obnoxious of all vocal effects? This is absolute torture to listen to, and I have no shame in giving it the swift kick in the ass goodbye it deserves. Alveterzane you unlistenable piece of crap. YET........It only winds up at #3. What could've possibly beaten Anaconda? What? What?..........Prepare yourselves..........

2) Song: 23

    Artist: Mike Will Made-It feat. Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, & Juicy J

    Year-End Position: 36

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbEoRnaOIbs

Remember last year when I said that Love Me was Mike Will Made It's production at its worst? Well, I was wrong. This is. It's nothing more than 2 slightly differing variants of the same droning beeping noise that runs throughout the entire song, and nothing is ever added to give the song any real heft or presence, and it's grating as hell. Seriously, this beat is skin-crawling, and you can almost entirely blame that for why this is up so damn high. Of course, it doesn't help that every performer on here is just flat out abysmal. Juicy J's verse is forced and does not flow well at any point whatsoever, Wiz's drug/alcohol/materialism brag rap is just weak, and Miley is by far the worst artist on this track. Future producers and singers everywhere: note, if you ever have her on one or more of your songs, do NOT have her rap, because she's horrible at it. Her high pitched, nasally, disjointed flow only adds to how much of a drag this song is to listen to. Wanna see what beat it?

1) Song: Burnin' It Down
    Artist: Jason Aldean
    Year-End Position: 63

                                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdImDqbgc2g


If we're looking for the definition of a song that just gets worse and worse with each subsequent listen, Burnin' It Down fits that bill perfectly. I cannot stand a single second of this song. Aldean sounds more bored than seductive, and the lyrics are filled to the brim with the cliches that are normally found in a country love song in this vein without anything new to offer whatsoever. The real culprit, here, though, is just how abysmal that production is. This overproduced mess that is a choppy staccato guitar line, obvious drum machines, and messy synths is not good to listen to at all. Not to mention the fact that, isn't this supposed to be a country song? Really, the only thing that could even be remotely called country about this song are Jason Aldean's vocals, and vocals alone do not make a song fit in a certain genre. Far from it, in fact. The one thing I can't stand about this song, though, is just how gross it feels. Seriously, the way every element of the song clashes and the way those almost demonic sounding vocal effects come on to Aldean's vocals in the chorus just makes this whole song feel rather creepy and leering. Who enjoys this? What is there to enjoy about this? Why would anyone choose to listen to this on a regular basis? Why? If we're looking for a song where bad is defined by the absence of good, then this is it. I have no shame in calling this the worst hit song of 2014. Well, that's all for this blog post. See you guys in the best list.

Throwback Review: Top 5 Best Hit Songs Of 2010

Hey, guys. I know I haven't been active on here lately, and I apologize, but I can't really think of anything I can review right now that wouldn't ruin any surprises about my year end lists, so to hold you guys off, we're gonna travel back to what's generally considered an awful year in music and count down the songs I liked the most from said year. What year am I talking about? Well, the title makes it obvious. 1695. Haha, just playin', of course we're going back to 2010.

Now, generally considered an abysmal year in music, 2010 actually didn't bother me all that much. Considering some of the stuff that came out during that year, however, don't think I'm blind to the reasons people hate that year music-wise. We still got some pretty amazing stuff from 2010, though, as we got a Club Can't Handle Me for every Cooler Than Me, a Rude Boy for every Deuces, a My Chick Bad for every How Low, a Dynamite for every Break Your Heart, so on and so forth. It is with that that I share with you the 5 songs from the beginning of this current decade that I just couldn't get enough of (yeah, we're only doing 5 because I'm too lazy to do a full 10, just deal with it). Before we get started, though, I have an honorable mention I'd like to share with you.

HM) Song: Hey, Soul Sister
         Artist: Train
         Billboard Year-End Position: 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVpv8-5XWOI

If I were to do a full top 10 list, this song would be number 8. I know a lot of people hate this song, but I always felt it had a lot going for it. This is a perfect example of how a song can have sucky lyrics and still be good. The ukulele driven instrumentation is beautiful, Pat Monahan's vocals are amazing, and the lyrics, while not good, are very sweet and have a lot of charm and genuineness behind them that I can easily forgive how bad they are. Overall, this is just a really sweet song with a lot of charm and elegance behind it. Really the only thing keeping it out of the top 5 and so low on my top 10 is the poor songwriting, but I still give it a pass.

Alright, now on to the songs that are in the top 5.




5) Song(s): Tik Tok/Your Love Is My Drug
    Artist: Ke$ha
    Billboard Year-End Position(s): 1/28

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR_qa3Ohwls

Off to a lovely start, aren't we? Okay, I have to admit it. I love Ke$ha. She's one of my guilty pleasure artists, and these two songs are prime examples why. Your Love Is My Drug, while cliched, is a fun, energetic, and self-destructive song about a guy she loves so much that she can't without. Not exactly a new concept or all that creative, but it's not really that bad either, is it? Tik Tok, a song that I'm glad was the number 1 song of 2010 for the record, is merely a fun and upbeat party anthem, nothing more, nothing less, and it does everything right. Overall, these are just really fun and energetic songs that I could not find myself to ever knock even if I tried.




4) Song: Bad Romance
    Artist: Lady GaGa
    Billboard Year-End Position: 8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

Another highly energetic song about a relationship. It took some time for this one to grow on me, but man am I glad it did. Everything about this song works pretty damn well from the blasting synths, GaGa's fully committed and charismatic performance, to even the oddly enticing rah-ah-ahs. Why exactly she wants a "bad" romance I'll never know exactly why, but she's just so determined to get what she wants that I really don't care, and this song is able to back up said determination excellently.




3) Song: Need You Now
    Artist: Lady Antebellum
    Billboard Year-End Position: 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

For this next song on the list, we take things down a notch in favor of this somber drinking song that takes country music back to its roots. Lady Antebellum is one of the best country acts to come out most recently, and it's songs like this that make that case extremely easy to prove. The emotional and heartbroken vocals, the quiet instrumentation, and the sheer sadness and narrative given off by this song just make this a heartbreaking yet great listen. Oh, and do I even need to mention how relatable the lyrics are? "Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all." Haven't we all been there before? Seriously, if you somehow haven't heard this one yet, check it out. It'll definitely be worth it.

2) Song: Whataya Want From Me

    Artist: Adam Lambert

    Billboard Year-End Position: 45

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1Fqn9du7xo

I think we all know by now how obvious it is that the runner-ups of American Idol far outshine their winning counterparts 9 times out of 10, and Adam Lambert is the first person that comes to my mind in this instance. I'm really proud of that, too, because his musicianship is purely eargasmic, especially with this song. With the perfect balance of rock and pop sounds, the emotional lyrics begging and pleading with the antagonist in question to give an answer as to what has to be done in order to be seen as a person and asking why their expectations are so freaking high, and Lambert throwing every fiber of his being in to the song with his incredible vocals, it's not hard to see why there aren't many songs in Lambert's discography that can beat WWFM. Though it's only number 2 on this list. Why is that? Well, let's see.




1) Song: According To You
    Artist: Orianthi
    Billboard Year-End Position: 55

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu1aQvm5MrU

 Now here's a song I'm always in the mood to defend. When it comes to the year 2010, we really needed a rock song to break up the monotony going on, and man does this song absolutely ROCK! The rough-edged guitars with the badass lines and that awesome solo, Orianthi's energetic and sad yet angry vocals, and just the overall feel of the song all culminate to make one rockin' tune, and that's all before we get in to lyrical content which my oh my is it phenomenal. It's basically about a guy who constantly puts her down and makes her feel like s**t, so she's moving on and has found someone new who finds genuine value in her as a person. Some might side with the ex and say that she doesn't really seem like too good of a girlfriend to have if she really is the things he says she is, but from the tone of the song, she clearly isn't, and what he's saying about her is not true in the slightest. So yeah, According To You by Orianthi, my favorite song of 2010. That's my list folks. See you in December.

MOVIE REVIEW: The Fault In Our Stars

Given that I went to see this movie this past Saturday, I knew this was the perfect opportunity to switch things up for a change.

Alright, for those that don't remember, I reviewed Boom Clap by Charli XCX a while back, and was really impressed with it. Even before I heard that song, though, I was really interested in that movie, and wanted to see how things would play out. So, since I finally received the chance to do so, I immediately opted to do so. What'd I get?

Holy crap, this movie is awesome. Seriously, if you haven't seen this movie yet, you're missing out big time.

Everything about this incredible peace of cinema works. The pacing is phenomenal. Each step of the way feels like you're seeing things through Hazel's eyes. It doesn't rush right in to anything, which is perfect because you really cannot do that with a movie like this. Everything has a slow build up, and the pay off is always satisfying and/or shocking/unexpected. Never once does it ever come off as too weak or too strong.

Each character is given incredible amounts of personality. You really feel like you know who each character is inside and out even though you've only seen them for just over two hours. They all develop wonderfully and move at just the right pace. All of them are really relatable and all work perfectly.

Not to mention the production and cinematography in this movie is superb. Every shot really fits the mood of what's going on at each particular moment from the beautiful, sunny days to the romantic moments between Augustus and Hazel to the scenes where each of them are sent to the hospital. The emotion is truly unprecedented.

Along with the cinematography, we also have the soundtrack, which again, fits each scene's mood perfectly. It's light and fluffy when things are all good yet dark and emotional when tragedy strikes. What else can I say here? It really works.

Next, we have the dialogue between each character, and again, it all fits together perfectly. Every word spoken strikes you with intense passion and emotion and comes across really naturally. They all sound really in character and very rarely ever stray from that. It starts off great and progressively gets even better as the plot continues on.

And the ending? Oh, you'll have to check that out for yourself. I'd say something about it, but that would just ruin the surprise, now, wouldn't it?

If I were to have one complaint, I guess it would be that some of the characters can be unreasonably dickish sometimes. For example, in one scene, Hazel's father tells her about maybe having to put her in an orphanage, and I'm not sure if he's being serious or not, but he comes off as a little forced and out of character. Another example is when they go to visit Van Hauten, and he's nothing more than a vindictive, drunken prick. He's really unlikable, which you wouldn't have guessed from what built up to it. Still, these moments are easily forgettable, and they quickly revert back to normal.

Overall, The Fault In Our Stars is an amazing movie, and it really makes no difference who has or hasn't read the book because it satisfies all no matter what. It's definitely a very strong 5 out of 5 from me.