Well, time to get to the good stuff. Just like how every good artist has at least one stinker in them, the reverse can sometimes be true as well. Today, we're looking at artists who usually suck that gave us the following gems, whether just through pure luck or they somehow knew what they were doing, even if only for this one time. Let's begin.
10) Song: Knock You Down
Artist: Keri Hilson feat. Ne-Yo & Kanye West
Show: I had only ever heard Knock You Down from Keri Hilson before, so I was puzzled when Halston suggested it. But even a casual listen to her other work makes it all make sense. This sounds about as far from atrocities like Pretty Girl Rock and Turnin’ Me On as you can get. This is a song about how surprising and life changing love is, and both Hilson and Ne-Yo sell it. Kanye? Not so much. And what sense does three people on a love song make? Anyway, this song is very solid. If I had just heard this, I would have thought that she was an entirely different kind of artist.
Me: Keri Hilson isn't generally someone who you'd think would deserve to be on a list like this, but when you take a closer look, you realize that she's really awful. I mean, sure, The Way I Are (despite how much of an eye roll the title is), her 2007 collab with Timbaland, was pretty good, but her solo output such as songs like the limp, overly autotuned, and utterly useless Turnin' Me On and the weak, way too egotistical for its own good Pretty Girl Rock are absolute garbage. That said, Knock You Down is still amazing. It's got great production, Keri's vocals are nice, Ne-Yo's verse is beautiful, Kanye's verse feels out of place, and yet it does nothing to affect how great the overall final product is. Keri Hilson may be bland as all hell, but Knock You Down is certainly far from being so.
9) Song: Young, Wild, & Free
Artist: Wiz Khalifa, Snoop Dogg, & Bruno Mars
Show: Snoop Dogg has lost his credibility long before this song, Wiz Khalifa only seems to try when he feels like it, and Bruno Mars annoys me to no end. I’m also a straightedge conservative Christian. I should not like this song so much. But this really is just innocent fun. The best part for me is that piano riff throughout the song (you ever notice how the theme from Wasted by Tiesto sounds like this, too? Does something about that riff just scream “DRUGS!” to people?), which just makes it seem like a few friends having a good time. This is one of the best things any of these three have ever made.
Me: When it comes to an artist who may be bad but is definitely full of potential, Wiz Khalifa definitely fits that bill. He plays the weed rap game quite often, but he's never quite been able to get it down like in Young, Wild, & Free. This is probably one of the best songs about smoking weed there is, ultimately saying that they like to smoke pot every now and then, and that that's alright. I'm not a big fan of pot myself, but I see nothing wrong with using it, and the laid-back beat full of texture really aids Wiz giving an awesome performance and really knowing what he and Snoop are talking about. Speaking of the D-o-double-g, let's get to him. Snoop Dogg's been going downhill for quite some time (as evidenced by his verse on Wiggle), but he really brings his A-game on this song, and the interplay between him and Wiz is superb. Not to mention how catchy the chorus by Snoop, Wiz, and Bruno Mars is. Catchy chorus, laid back beat, great flow and lyrics, what else does there need to be? The song is great. Let's move on.
8) Song: Pills N Potions
Artist: Nicki Minaj
Show: You ever notice that the professional music critics seem to like everything? They apparently praised Only, Anaconda, and Truffle Butter.
Me: Actually, I like that last one.
Show: Even still, you gotta admit, it's not her best.
Me: Point taken.
Show: Continuing on.
Just thinking about that makes me want to bash my head against a wall. But I do agree with them heaping praise on this song. Nicki Minaj has never struck me as the emotional type, but it turns out that she can be thoughtful and caring after all. There are problems, like the misleading title and the repetition of “I still love” (what, do you want a cookie?), but that is made up for with the production and the verses. Why couldn’t THIS have been the Pinkprint? Oh, well, I’ll take what I can get.
Me: Personally, I would've put Moment 4 Life in this spot as I believe that to be Nicki's best single, but then Show reminded me that that song wasn't stuck on an album with songs like Anaconda and Only, but settling for the next best thing isn't all that bad in this case given that this song is still really great. Nicki is at her best when she gets emotional, and this song definitely proves that. This song, as slightly misleading as they may be, are really heartfelt, the instrumentation is really lush, and it really gives Nicki an opportunity to show off her amazing pipes. It's not my favorite Nicki Minaj song (again, that'd be Moment 4 Life), but it's definitely up there.
7) Song: FU
Artist: Miley Cyrus feat. French Montana
Show: I interpret the FU as not being said to a cheating boyfriend, but whoever decided not to released as a single. I hated We Can’t Stop, hated Wrecking Ball, and would have hated Adore You if I was awake. This sounds like a song, which is much more than I have ever come to expect from you. If THIS had been a hit, I would have taken notice. I still don’t think that she is a great singer, but she manages to sound decent here. But why did French Montana get a featuring credit? He doesn’t even have a verse. It’s good, which is shocking Miley “I can so twerk! Really!” Cyrus.
Me: Going wild to mixed results, Miley Cyrus went wild with changing her persona and musical output in 2013. It was.....a less than favorable decision, to put it lightly. I personally didn't mind the musical aspect of it (especially not Wrecking Ball, which is #5 on my best list for 2013), but when you're involved with utter cacophonies of songs such as Do My Thang and 23, it's easy to see where the hate comes from. In FU, however, no such example can be found. The old style musical theme blends surprisingly well with the synths, and it suits Miley's fiery and sultry performance perfectly. I have no idea what the hell French Montana is doing in the background, but it kinda works as a staple of the song's background somehow. FU is certainly not something I'll be saying to anyone who allowed this song to exist.
6) Song: Halo
Artist: Beyoncé
Show: Beyoncé is one of the few artists that can be both on a “bad artist” list and a “good artist” list. She is one of the most polarizing acts out there. But in the chaos, we still get gems like Halo. I never thought that I would ever say this, but this Beyoncé song is truly beautiful. It’s sincere, powerful, and romantic. Ryan Tedder knew that he had a winner with Secrets, so I don’t blame him for using that sound again here. And then again in Already Gone (another song I like). Hey, whatever works? The idea that the same artist that would go on to make 7/11 makes my head spin. Oh, well. Still a great song.
Me: Beyoncé is certainly a polarizing artist. At her lowest of lows, she gives us complete crap. At her highest of highs, however, we get gems such as this beauty. The synth and the piano flow great together, and they build is just phenomenal. Beyoncé's vocals are beautiful, showing off how great of a belter she is, and the lyrics of openly welcoming a guy into her life is definitely a much needed change of pace from her usual man bashing. This is easily one of Beyoncé's best songs.
5) Song: I Gotta Feeling
Artist: The Black Eyed Peas
Show: This might be the only Black Eyed Peas song that I am NOT embarrassed to admit loving. This is what happens when the Black Eyed Peas all play to their strengths and all actually try. It was one of the most overplayed songs ever back in 2009, but it deserves it. This makes sense as the signature song from an album called The Energy Never Dies. No matter how many times I hear this, it never gets less fun. The feeling that you are about to take part in something you will remember forever is something artists need to use more often. I love this song, even if it is by the same act that made My Humps, Imma Be, and Rock That Body.
Me: It's a fun, catchy pop tune that uses a bunch of party clichés, yet has them delivered by the Peas with a ton of passion and energy over a fun and energetic David Guetta produced beat. It's yet another example of how the Black Eyed Peas are way better at partying and getting everyone involved than they are at bragging about how awesome they are. I Gotta Feeling is a song that'll make you wanna party from....
"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday"
.......precisely.
4) Song: Drops Of Jupiter
Artist: Train
Show: We rated these songs on a scale of both how good the song was and how bad the artist usually is. If the second one was not a factor, this would be my number one. I am embarrassed by how much I love this song. This is one of the few songs that can make me happy every single time. I have listened to it so many times that it has become a part of me. The lyrics are silly and about nothing, but I know every word. Like Halo, this song has almost a heavenly quality to it. Considering my reaction to literally every single other thing that Train has ever done, it is likely that this was a fluke, but to me, this is one of the luckiest accidents in the history of music. One of my favorite songs ever.
Me: Train, especially lead singer Pat Monahan, have always had a tendency to go towards the weirder end of the lyrical spectrum.
Show: That's like saying water-boarding is just getting a drink of water.
Me: Ooooooof course it is, Show.
Anyway, it's always worked better when those types of lyrics are paired with a sound that's more big and grandiose, and Drops Of Jupiter is a perfect example of this. The narrative is amazing, the accompanying production and vocals are beautiful, and this is easily one of the best in Train's catalog. Not really much to say here. It's just amazing.
3) Song: The Other Side
Artist: Jason DeRulo
Show: Darn it, Derulo. This especially stands out on the Talk Dirty album, one of the most bizarrely terrible albums in recent memory. But The Other Side gets everything right. Jason Derulo really sells it, but the star of the show is the production. It is sweeping, fun, and matches the song perfectly. How is it possible that the same guy who made Talk Dirty and Wiggle also made a sex song as romantic and innocent as this one? I have no clue how or why this song came into existence, but I am not complaining.
Me: The EDM and guitar are amazing and blend surprisingly well, DeRulo's vocals are great even with the autotune used on his voice in the chorus, and the lyrics of going to the proverbial "other side" are excellent. I've never really hated Jason, but he's definitely proven to be on his A-game here. This song was a serious contender for my 2013 best list. It ultimately missed the cut, unfortunately, but that's only because there were so many other amazing songs. Doesn't mean it's not amazing, though.
2) Song: Yeah 3X
Artist: Chris Brown
Show: I hate talking about how almost perfect this song is. That this song actually manages to make me forget how reprehensible Chris Brown is for four entire minutes is a feat of Herculean proportions. The performance that Chris Brown gives is actually very good. It’s sweet, fun, and surprisingly sincere. Wow, I’m shocked that typing that sentiment didn’t just make me vomit. I am absolutely certain that this was a fluke. But even the worst artists can get it right, and Yeah 3x got everything very right. It was one of the best pop songs of 2011. Now let’s move on. If I have to keep complimenting Chris freaking Brown I think that I might just go into cardiac arrest.
Me: Yes, even one of the world's biggest douchebags can have a good song. If there's anything about this song that's awesome, it would be the fact that this song is a really energetic and innocent song where the main intent is to get people to be having fun, and I defy you if you can listen to this song and say you're not doing that. Unlike some of Chris' other attempts to do this, however, such as Turn Up The Music, every element is great to listen to. None of it grates on one's nerves, and I dance my butt off anytime I hear it.
1) Song: We Own It
Artist: 2 Chainz feat. Wiz Khalifa
Show: “Surprisingly good” is not nearly enough to describe this song. Who would have guessed that 2 Chainz and Wiz Khalifa could make a song THIS good? To be honest, this reminds me a lot of Lose Yourself, one of the best rap songs ever made. Wiz Khalifa does great, but the star of the show was 2 Chainz. He really owns it here. A 2 Chainz and Wiz Khalifa song on the soundtrack of Fast and Furious 6 does not warrant being this good. Like many of the songs here, I am frustrated that more people don’t know about them. We need more songs like We Own It.
Me: 2 Chainz is one of the epitomes of bottom of the barrel generic rappers. Let's get that out of the way. That said, even the worst of rappers can have a great song, and We Own It proves that in the most epic way possible. The menacing and bombastic sound coupled with both Chainz and Wiz being on point consistently and throughout the song is awesome, and while Wiz is at the top of his game, it's actually 2 Chainz who's the better rapper in this case as he fits the more badass and hardcore persona a lot better. Every element of this song is perfect, thus making it the right choice for the top of this list. Huh, maybe these two are turning a new........
"HOL' UP HOL' UP, WE DEM BOYZ"
"Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis"
........nevermind. We Own It is still awesome, though.
Well, Show, that ends our collab. Did you enjoy yourself.
Show: Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun.
Me: We should do this again some time.
Show: Yeah, we should, and maybe next time I can tear Jar Of Hearts to shreds.
Me: Shooooooooow. >:(
Show: Right, sorry.
Me: Hehehe, it's alright. Well, until that happens, see ya.
Show: Take care, man.
Well done Halston and Show,great list.
ReplyDeleteUm, yeah.. I love Jar of Hearts. Also, as someone who doesn't mind repetition in music, Pills N Potions is probably my favourite hit song of 2014.
ReplyDeleteSome of my favorite songs made by bad artists:
ReplyDeleteLeather In The Rain by Tyga
Ridin Solo by Jason Derulo
If I Can't Have You by Shawn Mendes
Thunder and On Top Of The World by Imagine Dragons
Fuck, I'm Lonley by Lauv and Anne Marie (mainly for Anne Marie. Because aside from this song, Anne Marie is garbage. Lauv is cool, though)