BILLBOARD REVIEW: Week Of 7/18/2015

Well, 5 new songs have entered the top 10 since my last Billboard review, so it's about that time. First, a reminder of the ratings I gave to the songs I already reviewed:
9) Hey Mama by David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha & Afrojack - 4/5
7) Shut Up & Dance by Walk The Moon - 5/5
5) Trap Queen by Fetty Wap - 4/5
4) Bad Blood by Taylor Swift feat. Kendrick Lamar - 3/5
1) See You Again by Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth - 5/5

Alright, on to our new arrivals.




10) Song: Fight Song
      Artist: Rachel Platten

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc

You guys ready to get mad? Well, be prepared, because *flameshield up* I really like this song. Yeah, as far as empowerment anthems go, it's pretty generic, but generic doesn't quite equal bad, and I feel like this song is a perfect example of that. Fight Song basically talks about how Platten is going to take back her life and not let anyone hold her down. An admittedly done to death concept, but Rachel just absolutely sells the song with her passionate vocal delivery and explosive yet lush backing instrumentation. I do wish the song had given a little more detail as to how people have doubted her or the methods of how exactly she would take her life back in to her own control, but for what it is, I can appreciate it and really jam out quite a bit, actually. 4/5




8) Song: Where Are Ü Now
    Artist: Skrillex & Diplo feat. Justin Bieber

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nntGTK2Fhb0

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but..... Justin Bieber, of all people, has a song under his belt that's actually......good. No, for real, this song is actually quite excellent. In fact, same goes for Skrillex & Diplo, the producers of this track, as Skrillex is awful outside of First Of The Year (Equinox) and Diplo is a mixed bag, and it really is their production that shines through on this song with its blend of trap production with EDM and Middle-Eastern elements with tons of flavor and texture backing it. That's not to say, though, that Bieber should be left out of this, though, because he, too, is also really good on this song. His vocals have a lot of vulnerability and emotion in them, and his singing of how he was there for this girl in question yet she left him in his time of need is actually really impressive. Again, I do wish there was more detail in the lyrics as to how the girl broke his heart or the specifics of what exactly Bieber did for this girl, but again, I can't complain too much. It's good for what it is. Another 4/5.




6) Song: Can't Feel My Face
    Artist: The Weeknd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqt8Z1k0oWQ

The Weeknd getting his Michael Jackson on? Hell yeah, I'm on board with this. We have The Weeknd being his awesome self on this track, a fun bass line, ominous strings that open up the song that fit surprisingly well as a transition in to the rest of the song, goofy lyrics about how he loves that he goes numb whenever he's with this girl in question, it's really energetic, it has a lot of bounciness to it, you know what? Yeah, I like this. 5/5




3) Song: Watch Me
    Artist: Silento

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjW8wmF5VWc

...........Okay, really guys? This song is not only in the top 5, but incredibly close to being #1?

I hate all of you. I.....I really do.
On a serious note, though, where I found my pick for my favorite hit song of the year so far in my last review of the top 10, I've found my pick for the worst hit song of the year so far in this one, and really, is it any wonder why? Between its incredibly messy synth work, limp percussion and finger snaps, and lacking any and all energy, who seriously finds this song any fun? On top of that, the lyrics are not only super repetitive, but also rely on referencing a deluge of dance crazes, most of which are really outdated, thus adding an extra layer of infuriating laziness to this song that, needless to say, only makes this song even less listenable. Worst of all, though, is Silento himself. This Rae Sremmurd reject has a voice that I have no idea how anyone can find even tolerable as it's so high pitched and grating that I dare anyone to not hear it and then not turn the song off after 1.5 seconds (and that's being generous). I'd give this a negative rating, but I gotta pretend like I have some semblance of integrity, so it's no surprise that this song is getting a big fat 0/5. Seriously, f**k this song.




2) Song: Cheerleader
    Artist: OMI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGflUbPQfW8

*Sigh of relief* Thank god, a good song. In fact, an amazing song. One of the best songs of the year, to be more specific. The original version of this is good, but if you ask me, I feel like the Felix Jaehn remix just works so much better. The tropical flavored EDM and horns combine for this really easy listening experience full of energy and fun, and the autotune and reverb added on to OMI's vocals really added a ton of personality to that of what already existed within him. Oh, and the lyrics are awesome, too. It's basically about how OMI has found a woman who will stand by him no matter what and really loves him for who he is, and nowhere in this song does he ever come off as undeserving of any of it. Man, this song is awesome. Yeah, it's a 5/5.

Overall, this week gets a score of a 3.9/5. Not quite as good as last time, but damn good. See you guys next time.

REVIEW: Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShlW5plD_40


Y'know, I gotta admit, I'm in the minority of people who doesn't hate Meghan Trainor. While nearly everyone was mentioning All About That Bass somewhere on their worst hit songs of 2014 lists somewhere, whether as a dishonorable mention or on the list proper, I was over here jamming out to it. I found it to be an innocent song promoting body positivity (albeit maybe not in the best way) that people looked way too much in to with fun instrumentation and good singing from Trainor herself. Same goes for Lips Are Movin, but I'm gonna save my words for that song (*wink wink*).

Now, with all that said, can I say the same thing about her third top 20 hit, Dear Future Husband? Well................nope. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope ALL OF MY NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My God, what the hell were the people involved in this song's making thinking? Seriously, there is no way anyone with at least one functioning brain cell would even for a second think of writing something so abysmal, so horrendous, so abhorrent that it makes me feel bad for identifying as a fan of Meghan Trainor. Seriously, I will defend her a lot, but I do have my limits, and this is definitely the breaking point.

First off, I do wanna say that not everything about this song is bad. The instrumentation is still funky and upbeat with a ton of energy and flavor behind it, and Trainor's vocals are still good as always. That being said, however, all of it is absolutely demolished by what the lyrical content wound up being. Essentially what Dear Future Husband is is Meghan Trainor listing off what she would like for the man that marries her later on in life to do for her. It starts off innocent enough just asking for compliments, flowers, dates, and basic stuff like that, but as the song progresses, Meghan gets more and more demanding and pretty damn psychotic. Seriously, what kind of man do you know that would put up with having to apologize after every argument (even in situations where the wife was clearly in the wrong), not being allowed to have any dirty thoughts whatsoever, and not being allowed to see his family as often as he would like to? Furthermore, how lame is it that this is addressed to a future significant other? I mean, seriously, what is she, 11?

Overall, this song is a giant trainwreck. It had really good music and vocals, but damn if those awful lyrics didn't completely render any positive this song had going for it completely useless. I wanted to like it, I really did, but goddamn, do I absolutely despise this song. Meghan, I love you, honey, but please, for future reference, no more crap like this. I'm giving this a 0.5/5, and I'll see you guys next time.