Top 10 Best Hit Songs Of 2020

 Alright, let's end this shitshow on a positive note, shall we?

 

 

10

Oh, Harry Styles. What'd we ever do to deserve you?

 

10) Song: Adore You

      Artist: Harry Styles

      Year-End Position: 6

     Even before his first big hit, Sign Of The Times, was even released, we all knew that Harry Styles was gonna be the former 1D member to have the most success. Granted, that took longer than expected as for a while, it looked like Zayn was gonna be the one to take that position in 2016. Then, with all of them on a pretty much equal playing field the following year (except for Louis #JusticeForLouis), as well as two years of a complete dry spell from any of them, it seemed as though our hope for Harry had just about run out. Thankfully, though, he came back just at the right time this year and even managed to score a #1 hit out of it with Watermelon Sugar. And yet, it was the stroke of genius that was Adore You that really got the ball rolling. Straight up, this is just a bright and happy song that's warm and inviting. The bouncy drums, excellent guitar work, and complimenting bass create an out of this world blend of pop and retro soft rock. It is amazing just how stimulating to the joy receptors of the brain this track is. On top of this is Styles himself. He just oozes charisma, and you can tell he just enjoys every second of being here. Lyrically, there's not much to this song, basically saying that he'd do anything for the girl he loves, but it's just so cute and genuine that it's hard to deny. Not much else to say with this one. Just an incredibly solid song that puts a smile on my face every time I hear it.

9

Funny. This artist was #9 on my worst list last year, made pretty much the good version of that song, and as a result, is #9 on the best list this year. Ain't it funny how things like that just so happen to work out? Anyway......

9) Song: You should be sad

    Artist: Halsey

    Year-End Position: 82

     I mentioned last year how hit and miss Halsey is in my worst list last year, and I stand by that 100%. However, where Without Me showed that she really misses when her songs fall into the latter category, You should be sad proves that she really hits when her songs fall into the former. Much like Without Me, this is a bitter breakup song about Halsey's ex, but unlike that song, where it was all mopey and full of vague nothing sentiments that just left me feeling cold, this is raw, unfiltered emotions delivered with the sheerest of anger and bitterness, and the whole thing just feels a lot more sympathetic overall. Halsey is very much done with just sulking in what could've been, and this is pretty much the last straw for her. She says she means no malice, but frankly, it comes off as something that she's telling herself to make what she's about to do not sting as much. This is very much a song about mixed up emotions regarding the situation, from second guessing why she thought she could ever change him to anger at the way he treated her to even relief that her plans to have a child with him fell through, now that is heavy. And all of this is coupled with instrumentation that just sounds fucking fantastic. The country-esque acoustics, the pedal steel, and those electrifying distorted guitar riffs all create a feel akin to that of the final nail in this toxic relationship that was so desperately needed. Halsey is growing as an artist, and if we can get more songs like this and Be Kind, then I will have no qualms at all with her sticking around.

8

So......Dua Lipa had a great year......chart success wise, of course, but you know that's what I meant.

8) Song: Break My Heart

    Artist: Dua Lipa

    Year-End Position: 33

     One thing that's been big the past decade were retro throwbacks, particularly throwbacks to the 1970s and '80s. They've been fading a little the past few years, but they exploded back into full force this year, and no one capitalized on that more than Dua Lipa. She released her album Future Nostalgia earlier this year, and if you ever wondered what a time capsule in music form sounded like, well, you've got it right there. All the bright, glitzy flashiness that made the party music of those eras so fun with its own flare that makes it stand out above the fray. It spawned two hits this year, and while Don't Start  Now was the transcendent ball of excitement that started off the album cycle, it was Break My Heart that showed just a bit more what this album was all about. The bass line is interpolated from Need You Tonight by INXS, and it is elevated beyond belief with those funky guitars and thumping drums that make the groove so infectious that you have no choice but to at least tap your toes or bob your head along to the beat. Dua herself sounds fantastic as usual with her usual charm and charisma that she brings to a vast majority of her songs, but there's also a sense of uneasiness to her voice that fit the tone of the lyrics like a glove. In this song, Ms. Lipa is out partying when she meets a guy who she knows is no good, but she can't help but catch feelings for. This scares her because, as much as she wants to go along for the ride, he's showing all the signs of how he would hurt her in the way her previous partners have hurt her before. In essence, he makes her mind go nearly blank and causes her to almost completely forget about those new rules she had set for herself. It's got that undercurrent of tension to keep you on the edge of your seat while still being fun and bouncy enough to just be a blast, which makes it a pure shoe-in for this list.

7

So this guy is good now, huh? Hell yeah.

7) Song: Ballin'

    Artist: Mustard feat. Roddy Ricch

    Year-End Position: 25

     For the longest time, Mustard (formerly with DJ in front of that name) was seen as one of the most boring producers in the rap game. His beats usually consisted of nothing more than a few simple plinking notes repeating over the typical trap snares with the occasional gang vocals thrown in for good measure. In short: really formulaic and uninteresting. And then, something happened: he broke away from that mold. He produced a lot of Ella Mai's debut album, and instead of sticking to his tried and true methods, he went for a more slicked back, smooth '80s R&B feel that worked like a charm, and lo and behold, he was back in the spotlight. While he did try something completely out of left field last year with the reverb soaked squeals on Pure Water (which actually turned out way better than expected), it was his collab with newcomer Roddy Ricch that landed him not just one but two hits this year, and ultimately, Ballin' juuuuust edged out High Fashion because it really is that excellent. Much like Break My Heart, this one is also built around a sample, this being of 702's hit from 1997, Get It Together. And yeah, the watery guitars sound great, and when paired with the skittering percussion, just......the vibes, man. Lyrically, it's your typical come-up story about going from having to sell drugs and doing whatever you can to survive to now having plenty of riches and fame at your disposal, but what really sells this song is Roddy Ricch himself. He just sounds so happy to be where he is and appreciative of all the success he's attained, and he just absolutely beams through like a ray of sunshine. Not a whole lot else to say about this one, just a really chill song.

6

Okay, so, normally for these lists, the songs in question are those that I've been listening to at least a decent amount since they've been out. However, with this one, I knew of its existence for months but didn't fully listen to it until a few months back. That said, as soon as I did, I knew it had to go on this list because......wow.

6) Song: Die From A Broken Heart

    Artist: Maddie & Tae

    Year-End Position: 65

     Country music, for the longest time, has been quite dominated and most associated with only the male persuasion in mind, but for years, there's at least been several attempts to maintain a healthy balance between the amount of male and female voices being heard by the public. However, as soon as bro-country exploded in the early to mid-2010's, that pretty much disintegrated. Oh, we still had female country acts attaining hits, but they became far fewer and in between, and this certainly wasn't helped by some radio consultant in 2015 making a dumbass comment comparing women in the genre to tomatoes in a salad, which was both sexist as hell and made no sense whatsoever. Thankfully, that trend was finally broken this year, and while, yes, we did get trash like Gabby Barrett climbing up the charts, we also got some genuinely good stuff to become hits from the likes of Miranda Lambert and Carly Pearce. However, if you ask me, it doesn't get much better than Maddie & Tae, a female country duo who have talent out the wazoo, and Die From A Broken Heart is a great example of that. Aside from just sounding incredible with the melancholic guitars, pedal steel, and mandolins, as well as these extraordinary ladies just gliding through their harmonies like butter, the writing is just a real feels hitter. This is a break-up song that shows the aftermath of an incredibly intense argument between a woman and her significant other. He left her in so much emotional distress, and when he leaves her, she runs seeking support from her parents, asking how to get wine stains out of her clothes to asking if her dad can fix the door that broke from being slammed in a fit of rage. Then the hook shows a more real side of things by asking if she's gonna be alright after this and questioning how he could possibly do this to her. And this is a case where there isn't much detail to the song, but there's just enough left up in the air for the listeners to interpret and still come to a conclusion sympathetic to the narrator of this story. It's an absolutely heart-wrenching story, and while not exactly an easy one to come back to, I'd still recommend checking it out if you haven't already. It'll totally be worth it.

5

Alright, time to address the elephant in the room: we need to talk about Juice WRLD. For those that don't know, Jarad Anthony Higgins, more commonly known by his stage name Juice WRLD, sadly passed away on December 8th, 2019, after a fatal drug overdose on his way to his 21st birthday party. His death hit hard, and actually caused me to go back and relisten to a lot of his older material, and while I'm still not wild about songs like Lucid Dreams or All Girls Are The Same, at the very least, I can see why songs like that might've resonated with some people. Earlier this year, his posthumous album, Legends Never Die, was released, and thankfully, this was music Juice was working on before he passed which his family did give permission to the record label to release on his behalf. It spawned two songs that wound up on this year-end list, and while Wishing Well is a good song, I refuse to give any credit to the man who produced it. Trust me, if you know, you know. The other one, though...yeah, I got no qualms about putting on this list because it's excellent.

5) Song: Come & Go

    Artist: Juice WRLD & Marshmello

    Year-End Position: 54

     If there was anything that could be said about Juice WRLD, it's that he showed a boat load of potential. At the very least, even if his delivery, vocals, or even production wasn't the best, you could at least tell what he was trying to do. One thing he always exhibited well was his anxiety, fear of the future, and constant worry about what was next to come in his life, be it good or bad. And if ever there was a song that perfectly exemplified that, it would be this one. Juice's previous hits had him showing a lot of spite and what could be considered hatred for the women being represented in his hits, and this thankfully is a nice change of pace from that. Basically, he's expressing his own insecurities and self-doubts about how he feels he's a constant failure who can't do anything right, and as such, causing others to see him as the failure he sees himself as, thus leading to him not being good enough at relationships. However, he meets one girl in particular who sees him for him and who he really is, truly appreciates him, and this motivates him to do everything in his power to put his behavior in the past behind him. It's an incredible premise that is executed flawlessly with plenty of emotional power subtly being injected into Juice WRLD's voice and, while he is much more motivated to do better, the fear of him slipping into his old ways isn't completely erased. There is still that hint of uneasiness. Oh, and this production absolutely rocks. I've always thought that Marshmello, save for one or two examples, has always gotten way too much flack as a producer, and here, he shows just how much he's capable of. Jarad says  that Mello made it right, and he ain't kidding with the hollow bells that lead in to some nice bass, followed by an incredible guitar riff coupled with some rhythmic handclaps. Then there's the drop. I've seen a lot of people complain about how buzzy it is, but honestly, I really like it. It adds to the manic energy the song is going for. Then it goes more bass swamped for the second verse, then the hook again, and right before it builds up to that same drop from before, we get an awesome guitar solo and a second drop based around said solo. It ends abruptly with all the tension being released at once, and my god, words can't describe how much I love the structure of this song. Jarad, rest in peace, dude. You deserved so much better than what you got, and it's a fucking shame no one listened to your cries for help.

4

I mentioned in the dishonorable mentions of my worst list that this artist had improved...I wasn't lying.

[TW: Mentions of racism]

4) Song: The Bigger Picture

    Artist: Lil Baby

    Year-End Position: 76

     When Lil Baby first made his debut to the general public, his mumbly, generic style of rap did nothing to help him stand out amongst the swath of generic trap artists in his vein, not helped by some muddy textures in the mixing and shockingly bad writing. But something must've clicked in his brain this year because, while his style didn't change all that much, and he did still have his duds like Woah and Sum 2 Prove, he did sharpen up his technique. For example, We Paid has a sharp as hell groove and a catchy hook, and Emotionally Scarred has some seriously good writing behind it, the latter of which would've easily nabbed an honorable mention on this list had the bass been just a little bit less blown out. However, it was, of course, The Bigger Picture that showed just how much Lil Baby was truly capable of. Let's get this out of the way: no, this is not here just because he decided to make a serious political song. There are instances of artists, rappers included, attempting to tackle serious subject matters in their songs and botching them horribly, see: Why? by Jadakiss feat. Anthony Hamilton. No, this is here because of how poignant and absolutely dead on it is with how it tackles the topics of injustice and discrimination it's talking about. For context, earlier this year, Breonna Taylor was shot in her home by police while she was sleeping and, a few months later, even more national outrage was sparked when officers knelt on his neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, thus causing him to suffocate to death, all because they suspected he may or may not have used a fake $20 bill.  Oh, and if you wanna come on here talking about how he may or may not have been on drugs at the time or how he had a "criminal history" or whatever other virtue signaling and gaslighting bullshit, you can take that gunk elsewhere and enjoy a swift block because I ain't gonna hear it. I may not be black and will never know the struggles they face day in and day out, but the one thing that I and many others can do is listen to their concerns, take action to at least drastically reduce the injustices they face, and if we are committing actions that hurt marginalized groups of people in any way, shape, or form, fucking stop them. And Lil Baby expresses his genuine frustration by recounting past experiences, both that happened to him as well as what he witnessed happen to his family and friends, talking about the fucked up things still currently going on in the system, and showing that, while he does know that not all white people are these racist, discriminatory abominations to the human race, the ones that are need to be put in their place, lest we continue to repeat history over and over again. It's a fight that isn't gonna be easy in any regard, and while it is possible that we may never fully achieve full equality between all races, sexual orientations, genders, etc., we have to at least make the effort, no matter how arduous the battle may be. All of this coupled with a bass swamped beat layered with some nice pianos and synths, and Lil Baby putting some nice structure to his bars, you've got yourself one hell of a listen. Excellent work, man. I never thought I'd be saying that.
 

 

 

 

3

For the love of god, someone give this girl a hug. Please.

[TW: Mental health, Suicide]

3) Song: everything i wanted

    Artist: Billie Eilish

    Year-End Position: 18

     It feels like with every passing moment, Billie Eilish just becomes wiser and wiser beyond her years. Simply put, she just has the chops to pull off anything that comes when she puts pen to paper. She hits us with yet another tear-jerker this year, and while it's not as good as when the party's over, that's an incredibly high bar to clear as this still winds up being really damn good. The instrumentation is this muted piano loop with some tapping percussion that becomes progressively more swamped out with bass as the song progresses, and Eilish herself sounds amazing as usual. But then there's the content, and oh boy, do we have a lot to unpack here. Essentially, this song is about Billie having a dream that starts out with her attaining all the fame and fortune she could ever dream of getting. As the dream continues, though, it quickly starts to sour as her mental health deteriorates to the point where she finally can't take it anymore, and, in front of a whole crowd of people, decides to jump off a bridge into the ocean. In a disturbing surprise, though, everyone just looks away and walks off unaffected by what they just saw, which shocks Eilish as she continues to plunge to her death, even attempting to yell out for help, only for them to be drowned out by the copious amounts of water she's now submerged under. Right as she is about to accept her fate, she wakes up, still alive and with none of those events having happened to her in any capacity, she runs to tell her brother, Finneas, about the nightmare she just had and the fears and self-doubts it just filled her mind with. Being the good big brother he is, he comforts her and reassures her that as long as he's around, she won't have to worry about any harm being brought her way. It's a dark as hell song, but it executes what it sets out for incredibly well with the flurry of emotions it portrays from anxiety to self-doubt to relief that it never happened, all accented by the quiet production and Billie's more reserved vocals. Hell, even the effects on some parts of the song such as the reverb when she says "underwater" and the more whispered parts during the end really touch a nerve that's just.......I don't even know how to explain. I'd go way further, but I think I've said all that really needs to be said about this song. Just......wow.

2

Still got that box of tissues from the last entry? Well, keep 'em around, and if it's empty, get another box, because we're not done tackling tear-jerkers just yet.

2) Song: Even Though I'm Leaving

    Artist: Luke Combs

    Year-End Position: 85

     I'll admit, when it comes to Luke Combs, I just found him to be a decent country artist with not much to him outside of some pretty good production and a pleasant voice to listen to, but over the years, he has quickly become one of my favorite modern artists in the genre. From sincere ballads like Beautiful Crazy and Forever After All to the more upbeat party songs like Beer Never Broke My Heart and 1, 2 Many, artists like him and Chris Stapleton are bringing back the more neo-traditional sound of country music that was prevalent from the mid-80's to all of the 90's, and I am all for it. He had three hits on the year-end for this year, and while I could've easily gone with the Eric Church collab Does To Me or the sheer blast of adrenaline that is Lovin' On You, I had to go with the one that got the ball rolling for my appreciation of Combs to transform from merely liking him fine enough to absolutely adoring this big bearded guy I would want to hang out with at a bar (you know, once we can start doing things like that again, of course). Even Though I'm Leaving, much like everything i wanted, has a narrative to it, and though it's not nearly as complex, it still has enough detail and emotion to absolutely tug at the heartstrings. It starts out with a father and his young son. The son has the typical fear of there being monsters in his closet, and his dad reassures him that, while he's going back to bed, he's right down the hall if he needs anything. That's a nice sentiment already, but then it takes on a different meaning as years later, that same father and son are at the airport as the latter is about to go overseas to fight in the military. He expresses his fears, but once again, he is provided with the same words of wisdom from his old man that even though he can't be physically with him, he's always there whenever he needs something. Finally, it all comes to a bittersweet end as the dad only has mere moments left on this planet. His kin is there by his side, and one last time, he expresses the apprehensions he has about the situation, this time being the passing of the one he had the closest relationship with his whole life. One last time, his dad reminds him that although he may not be alive anymore, he's lived a good life and isn't afraid of what's to come, and no matter what, his spirit will always be with him. This is how you take a basic premise, and elevate it to the nth degree as what's actually being said is given so much weight that it hits with a ton of bricks. All of this wrapped up with instrumentation that is mournful yet looking up at the same time, not to mention just sounds beautiful melodically, and Combs letting his vocals sell the maturity of the song for him really goes to show that this man has a gift, and thankfully, he's choosing to use it very wisely. This very easily could've been my number one for the year, but ultimately, there was just one song I felt deserved that title a little bit more. But before there, the runner-ups.

Honorable Mentions

Song: P*$$y Fairy (OTW)

Artist: Jhené Aiko

Year-End Position: 94

This is just one of the sexiest songs in existence. Jhené says she's gonna hypnotize me with her pussy, and given how slick and sensual this song is, I can't help it. I'm fully on board with going along for the ride.

Song: WAP

Artist: Cardi B feat. Meghan Thee Stallion

Year-End Position: 24

And on the opposite side of the coin, we got Cardi and Megan spitting out creative sex metaphors over a bouncy, bass-heavy, minimalist sample that just slaps. I can see how one would find this annoying, but it jams for me. Also, fuck Ben Shapiro.

Song: Godzilla

Arist: Eminem feat. Juice WRLD

Year-End Position: 62

Ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary peeps, he's back. It's not a complete return to form for Em, but the explosive energy is there, there's a lot of fire lines, the beat is explosive, and Juice's hook is infectious. Once again, RIP Juice WRLD.

Song: Laugh Now, Cry Later

Artist: Drake feat. Lil Durk

Year-End Position: 41

Drake made a song about enjoying the good times while they last with a surprisingly well constructed Lil Durk guest verse over production that's a good balance of triumphant and a looming warning of the dark times to come. You'd think I'd be surprised by this, but honestly, this is very much is Drake's wheelhouse. Yo, Aubrey, more stuff like this, less shit like POPSTAR and GREECE.

Song: Don't Start Now

Artist: Dua Lipa

Year-End Position: 4

Probably would've made the list proper if the instrumentation had a bit more momentum to it, but still, between the great groove and Dua Lipa being great as usual about telling off some asshole that won't leave her the fuck alone, it deserves to be here nonetheless.

Song: Dior

Artist: Pop Smoke

Year-End Position: 83

See, this is the type of music I'm used to from Pop Smoke. Infectious, hard hitting beat with an awesome groove to boot, buckets of charisma and energy, and just being well constructed all around. Points deducted for saying he can't fuck with certain people because they're gay, though. Who the hell let that slide? But speaking of Dior......

 

 

 

 

Song: Mood

Artist: 24kgoldn feat. Iann Dior

Year-End Position: 47

Catchy as hell guitar line, energetic performances from our two main men, and lyrics that deal with a toxic relationship that, while still not great, could've been so much worse than what we got. Needless to say, I'm more than okay with this. It's a jam.

Song: ily (i love you baby)

Artist: Surf Mesa feat. Emilee

Year-End Position: 95

Normally, when something is a "nothing" of a song, it's meant to be used as a pejorative, but here, it's actually a positive attribute. Between the spacious beat, Emilee's light and airy vocals, and the Frankie Valli sample being the perfect choice for something like this, this is the perfect song to just put on and let your mind just float away into the heavens, and believe you me, given everything that went on this year, this is more a necessity than anything else, at least for me it is.

Alright, closing time.

1

*sigh* Look, I tried, alright. I thought I was gonna be able to put this a lot lower and not be this predictable. But......I couldn't help myself. This had to be in the top spot for me. I guess all that's left to say is......congrats, Abel.

1) Song: Blinding Lights

    Artist: The Weeknd

    Year-End Position: 1

     For the love of god, I swear, I thought I was gonna put this song somewhere in the middle of the list, perhaps probably in the lower rungs, hell, maybe as just an honorable mention. But I just couldn't. I get how one could argue that this song is incredibly overrated and isn't as good as everyone says it is, but for me, it just absolutely kills. The Weeknd has always been someone who has never quite been able to reach his full potential as an artist. Sure, he's had many good or, hell, even great songs, but he still has way too many stumbles that hold him back from being this truly amazing. Every now and again, though, he'll put out a song that shows that if he made more music like that, then he would be this incredible phenomenon that nobody could deny was truly one of the greatest artists of this generation, and Blinding Lights is the perfect encapsulation of that. A lot of people have pointed out the similarities between the synth riffs of this song and the ones in Take On Me by a-ha, and while that's very true, especially with the percussion, there is another song that this reminds me of, and actually a lot more so, if you can believe it.

This is Young Turks by Rod Stewart, his entry into the new wave craze of the 1980s. Aside from being just as similar in sound to this as much as it is to Take On Me, the lyrics have incredibly similar themes of anxiety and needing someone to lean on. However, where Young Turks tackles two teens running away, furthering their relationship, and eventually having a kid together, as well as all the emotional complexity and confusion that comes along with it, Blinding Lights is a different story altogether. Abel is finding himself lost in the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas, and everywhere he turns, he's sucked in and brought back to his self-destructing ways. He can't stand this, and feels as though his life is falling apart, so he calls upon his lover to help ease the pain and bring him back to Earth. It follows the theme that After Hours goes after, and hell, is pretty much the sequel to the first big hit from the album, Heartless. But while that song is good, it feels like way too familiar territory for The Weeknd and ultimately doesn't quite stick the landing as well as it really should. Here, we have Abel at his absolute lowest point, coming to as he realizes the dangers of falling back into his old self-destructive ways, and the tension is executed perfectly. You feel just how in shambles this guy is, and the fact that the sensory overload is getting to him in such an extreme manner is heart-wrenching. Adding to that is the production, brought to us by, the myth, the man, the legend himself, Max muthafuckin' Martin, with the whooshing, dense synths paired with the stuttered percussion that adds an incredible groove to the song. It's bright and bouncy, and you would think that it would not mesh that well with the content. But therein is the genius of this song. While it is dark, it shows just how bright the light at the end of the tunnel is, and apart from shows how well things could be for Abel, it also perfectly exemplifies the entire mood and rollercoaster this year has been. While it's brought a lot of fear and uncertainty, it's also brought us closer together with the senses of hope and determination to get through these hard times and come out just fine on the other side. It's not gonna be easy, we're gonna have to fight like hell just to survive, but in the end, I just know it'll all be worth it, and that, at least to me, is what this song in particular flawlessly conveys. Am I reading too much into it? Maybe. Do I care? Not in the slightest, this song is just that awesome. So yeah. Blinding Lights. The Weeknd. Best hit song of the year by a mile. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, I'll see you all in 2021, and until then, stay safe, wear your mask, and......

0

0) Song: All I Want For Christmas Is You

    Artist: Mariah Carey

    Year-End Position: 67 

......Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Peace.

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs Of 2014

Well, guys, it's that time of year again. It's time to look back at the year of music as a whole according to the Billboard year-end hot 100 and pick out what I consider to be the best and worst of them all. First, new rule: a song's eligible for this list so long as it was on the Billboard year-end hot 100 and didn't make either of my lists from last year. With that out of the way, a retrospective of 2014 as a year in music.

Man, what a painfully average year. For the most part, the good songs weren't that good, and the bad songs weren't that bad. It was also a pretty sloppy year for music as we never knew when a truly great or horrifically awful song would be brought to us, and it always took us by surprise when we found out which it was if it wasn't in the same boat mentioned earlier that a lot of the other songs were. Still, that doesn't mean they weren't hard to find, so let's get this crapfest rolling, but first some dishonorable mentions.

DHM1) Song: This Is How We Roll
              Artist: Florida Georgia Line & Luke Bryan
              Year-End Position: 49

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbxuXq_981s

While I don't think this is the worst bro-country song of the year (trust me, we'll get to it), I still can't bring myself to like it. The instrumentation is clunky, FGL's performance is tolerable at best, Luke Bryan's cameo was way too short and a complete waste of time, the rapping in the second verse is unpleasant to listen to, and overall, this song is just a generic bro-country party song in the most bland and homogeneous way possible. There were quite a bit of bro country songs that I could tolerate (and some I actually like), but this obviously wasn't one of them.




DHM2) Song: Amnesia
      Artist: 5 Seconds Of Summer
      Year-End Position: 86

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCCJCILiX3o

I don't mind the "white guy with acoustic guitar" genre like others seem to, but some of them do get under my skin, and this would be one of them. A lot of criticism has been thrown of She Looks So perfect, and while I see why, I actually wound up liking that song because of how incredibly fun, bouncy, and quirky it was, and yes, that includes the American Apparel underwear line. The same can't be said, however, about Amnesia, a completely boring slog to listen to that has an ugly "I hope you're unhappy because we broke up" sentiment that is detestable in every sense (which it later contradicts with the line "when he says the words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?," which, to be fair, shows that the narrator cares at least a little underneath all the hate. Still not enough to save the song, though). Not to mention how extremely whiny it is. This one is so lucky that it's at least musically nice to listen to. Otherwise, it'd be a lot higher. 5SOS, you're better than this.

DHM3) Song: Adore You
              Artist: Miley Cyrus
              Year-End Position: 100

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1tzURKYFNs
Say what you will about We Can't Stop. At least the production sounded nice, and at least Miley tried to liven the mood with her vocals. The same cannot be said, however, about Adore You, easily Cyrus' most sleep-inducing song to date. Everything about this song is just so boring and monotone that you'd swear that it was a musical form of Lunesta. Neither the production nor the vocals stray from the one single key it's in all throughout the song, nothing gets upkeyed at all, and the hackneyed lovey dovey "I love you so much. We'll be together forever" lyrics don't add anything interesting to the song whatsoever. It's not infuriatingly bad, but it's still worthy of being a dishonorable mention. FU really should've been the 3rd single from Bangerz instead of this schlock.




DHM4) Song: Partition
              Artist: Beyoncé
              Year-End Position: 95

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ12_E5R3qc

Okay, who thought it was a good idea to hear Beyoncé rap again? Seriously, didn't we learn this lesson from Diva? Look, I have no problem with songs being explicitly sexual (as evidenced by Body Party being on my best list last year), but I do have a limit, and this goes over that limit. Not to mention that the production is so boring that you pretty much have no choice to focus on the disgusting lyrics such as "he popped all my buttons & he ripped my blouse, he Monica Lewinski'd all on my gown," to which my response is EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This one was the hardest to cut from the list, and it shouldn't be too hard to see why.




DHM5) Song: Cool Kids
              Artist: Echosmith
              Year-End Position: 59

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSCzDykng4g

If there is one word to describe this song, it would be pandering. It's basically saying "hey, are you down, alone, and just want to fit in? Me too," which I gotta ask, why would you want to make a song like that? I know it's supposed to be relatable, but it would ultimately only add to the depressed mood of the listener and wouldn't really do anything to solve the problem. It's a real shame that this is as bad as it is, too, because it had potential to be an anthem of cheering someone up in the vein of Carry On by fun. or Keep Your Head Up by Andy Grammer. Oh well, at least the instrumentation and the vocals sound pretty nice.

DHM6/7) Song(s): No Mediocre/Na Na
              Artist: T.I. feat. Iggy Azalea (and DJ Mustard)/Trey Songz (and DJ Mustard)
              Year-End Position(s): 87/53

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdsTUfDTEhQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Gu_Yh_ke

It's no surprise that DJ Mustard was ubiquitous all throughout 2014, nor is it really much of a surprise how bland and flavorless he was and that pretty much all of his singles sound exactly the same. This one in particular, though, is getting a dishonorable mention for having the most wasted potential. I really saw the reggae-style beat going somewhere, but nope, it's just the same four notes with the same percussion and the same gang vocals all throughout with T.I. offering a generic brag rap with a mumbled and hard to understand delivery. Thankfully, Iggy saves the song with a pretty good verse, but overall, this song could've been so much more than the ironically extremely mediocre mess that it was.
Na Na is just a boring and droning song about a guy trying to get with a girl by convincing her how awesome he is with a possible allusion to rape ("Girl I know you're ready, I ain't even gotta check." Yep. Rape). The song tries to go for a darker atmosphere with the strings and oddly unfitting gang vocals, but it just does not work with the subject matter given. Oh, and don't even get me started on just how lifeless Trey Songz's vocals on this song are.





DHM8) Song: Rude
    Artist: MAGIC!
    Year-End Position: 7

                                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk

I've already done a review of this song, so if you wanna see my thoughts, you can find that here, but I will reiterate my main points against this song: this a bland piece of cod reggae with a whiny crybaby of a lead singer and a disjointed narrative. The father just said he didn't want you marrying his daughter. He wasn't being too rude just by doing that. Also, it was incredibly pointless of you to ask the father in the first place if you were just gonna say "screw it, I'll marry her anyway." Ugh, ju...just screw this song.




DHM9) Song: Latch
                Artist: Disclosure feat. Sam Smith
               Year-End Position: 28

                                          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93ASUImTedo

Oh boy, I'm gonna make a whole mess of people mad with this one, but yeah, I do not like Latch in the slightest. I don't like how underweight the synths are, that grinding bassline in the chorus, just how little energy the song has as a whole, the lyrics that, while about a simple hug, when they include lines talking about how the person in question is "shackled" in his embrace, come off more as creepy than anything else, and most of all, I really don't like Sam Smith's vocals. Well, during the chorus, anyway. He does a fine enough job in the verses. When the chorus rolls around, however, he just lets out this screechy mess where his falsetto, which is normally golden and amazing to listen to, is just covered in all sorts of vocals effects and autotune to make it sound as unpleasant as possible. I wanted to like this song, I really did, but in the end, I have to put it here. Sorry.



DHM10) Song: Lifestyle
                Artist: Rich Gang feat. Young Thug & Rich Homie Quan
               Year-End Position:72

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGt_JGHYEO4

Boy, talk about a drain on the brain to listen to. Okay, on some level, I see why some people like this song. It's a dumb luxury rap song where if you turn your brain off, you might be able to enjoy it, and I won't lie, the simple bass and softer synths actually create a pretty decent beat. That being said, while the beat is actually okay, it's not nearly strong enough to handle the heaping mounds of s**t it's dealing with from the performers. Or, should I say performer considering that most of this song belongs to Young freaking Thug. Okay, let me just say right now that I have found a hip hop artist who's worse than Future, something I never thought was possible. I would judge the lyrics...if I could understand them.  What is it with Young Thug and this mumbly, off key delivery he's so fond of that makes him sound like he swallowed a bee that later stung him in the vocal chords? Grating would be an understatement. It's puke inducing. I may get the appeal of this song, but that doesn't mean I don't dislike it, and believe me, I dislike this song heavily.




Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, on to the real trash.




10) Song: Maps
    Artist: Maroon 5
    Year-End Position: 29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj6fHiF8Osg

For those of you that remember, Love Somebody was originally #10 on my worst list last year, but that one surprisingly grew on me. I can safely say, however, that the same cannot be said about Maps. Keep in mind that I am someone who not only likes M5's older stuff, but will openly defend their post-sellout material as well. Payphone, Daylight, Animals, hell even One More Night (which is an honorable mention for my best list for 2012), but not this one. First off, this production is a complete mess. The ascending guitar line is flimsy, the percussion is barely there, and the flaccid synths all refuse to come together to form a coherent sound. On top of that, it keeps feeling like it's building up to something, but no crescendo ever happens, and it's a big letdown. Lyrically, they're pretty useless. The guy in question is constantly put down and is treated negatively in terms of emotions from this girl, and yet he misses the time they spent together because.....I don't know, tater tots. Say what you want about Me & My Broken Heart, but at least that guy was having a real internal conflict, still loved her, and was having an internal conflict as to why. The guy in Maps doesn't even have that. He seems as though he's just pursuing her for sex. Not cool, dude. The sticking point for me, though, is Adam Levine's vocal delivery. I usually don't mind his falsetto (and actually like it in a few cases), but he's never sounded more shrill, grating, and even pretty bored than he does in this song, and the fact he uses that falsetto throughout the entire song is just cringefuriating. Overall, though, it's very bland and forgettable, which isn't a big enough crime to land it any higher on the list, especially considering what other monstrosities this year brought us, but it's still garbage nonetheless. Maroon 5, I love ya and all, but this one stinks.




9)  Song: My "Hitta"
     Artist: YG feat. Young Jeezy & Rich Homie Quan (AND DJ F***ING MUSTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
     Year-End Position: 58

                                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSrTnWDTdwI

DJ Mustard, you are just the worst.
This is easily Mustard's worst beat to date. It's nothing but a discordant mess of trippy synths, odd reverb saturated bells, and the grating bass. Of course, it doesn't help how unlistenable every one of the performer's flow on this song is, how repetitive and lazy the song is just being nothing more than just a quick and stupid way to see how many times these guys can rhyme the N-word with itself, and the only thing saving it from the list is the fact that the concept of YG and his friends sticking together and having each others' backs is pretty admirable. Seriously, screw this song, and aside from 2 On, Show Me, and to some degree Don't Tell 'Em, screw DJ Mustard. NEXT!




8) Song: Drunk In Love
    Artist: Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z
    Year-End Position: 35

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1JPKLa-Ofc

Well, if there is one thing I can say about this song, it's that the title is appropriate, because this song sound's like if the other hit Beyoncé had with Jay-Z, Crazy In Love, was a sloppy, drunken mess. It's songs like this that show that over the years, Beyoncé has just lost her touch and isn't really able to make music as great as she used to. The beat is dark and sloppy, Beyoncé's vocals on this are slurred and grating, the lyrics are filled to the brim with double entendres that don't make sense in the slightest, Jay-Z's verse is incoherent, stilted, and disgusting, and overall this song is just an unlistenable mess. It's tracks like these that make me want songs like Pour It Up back, and that should never ever happen.

7) Song: Let Her Go
    Artist: Passenger
    Year-End Position: 19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA

Yes, I know this is a leftover from 2013, but I didn't start to actively hate it until early 2014, and now that I do, I LOATHE this song. Once again, I don't have the burning hatred for the "white guy with acoustic guitar" genre that most people seem to, but again, that doesn't mean there aren't some that are nothing more than complete dreck, and songs like Amnesia & Let Her Go prove that. I'm usually fine with a song having just the standard 4 chords of pop and nothing more, but something creative has to be done with them for a good song to result. Here, unlike in Amnesia, they're just bare bones with nothing creative or original done with them. Passenger's vocals, while tolerable, are sure to give me the yawns any day of the week. Finally, for the lyrics, it's supposed to be framed as this song where Passenger is helping a friend through the tough times of a breakup, but what it comes across as is him talking down to the friend and mercilessly berating him and putting him on blast, which comes across as downright offensive at points. Not to mention how inane that chorus is, which basically just boils down to "you only need one thing when the opposite happens." Also, if the only way to know that he truly loves her is to let her go, that's logically detrimental to him as he'll then want her back, the spark will be gone once he gets back with her, and it's just going to be this vicious emotional cycle that just won't be pretty. I know it's supposed to be saying "if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's meant to be, etc.," but it's just so awkwardly phrased that I can't look past it.
Look, again, there are some genuinely good acoustic ballads out there, but this one is just absolute garbage.




6) Song: Wiggle
    Artist: Jason DeRulo feat. Snoop Dogg
    Year-End Position: 40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiP14ED28CA

Yet another one that I've already done a review of, which you'll find here, so once again, I'll just recap what my main problems with this song were: the stiff, grating, boring instrumentation with the recorder being played during the hook can't back up the absolutely asinine and idiotic lyrics brought on by DeRulo himself, and Snoop's verse is not only his laziest work to date, but is also extremely disgusting and providing of imagery that's way too vivid. Really, the only thing keeping this from being any higher is that at least Jason sounds like he's enjoying himself. Good for you, DeRulo, but this song still blows. NEXT!




5) Song: Dark Horse
    Artist: Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
    Year-End Position: 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KSOMA3QBU0

Oh, I bet you all saw this one coming, didn't you. Alright, let's get the obvious out of the way: Katy Perry is not a dark horse. She isn't in terms of her massive success and riches as a pop star, and given the fact that she knew the guy in question would come to her, she's not one in context of the song either. That's only a speck of what's wrong with this song, though. First off, this beat is atrocious. It's looping, drunken, choppy synth combined with the leaden, speaker-destroying bass is grating to no end, and it's even more cringefuriating as Adam Levine's falsetto in Maps. The buildup does sound pretty nice, which is why this isn't higher (but only just barely, and there was worse crap that we will get to), but like Maps, it has nothing to offer, only this time, it's even more disappointing because as nice as that buildup sounded (apart from those ill-fitting gang vocals), you would've expected SOME sort of drop to hold all of this together, but no, we just get the monotony that we get with the rest of the song. The rest of the lyrics aside from the obvious misuse of the dark horse metaphor is a hodgepodge of references to magic and ancient Egypt and all sorts of stuff that doesn't feel cohesive in the slightest. None of it connects at all, and it certainly doesn't mesh with Katy trying and failing to sound dark and mysterious instead of totally checked out and phoned in. And then there's Juicy J's verse. It's crap. Was that really that shocking? His flow is stilted, the gangsta vibe he tries for doesn't fit at all, none of his wordplay rises above mediocre at best, and dude, Princess Aurora was already in a coma that Prince Philip had to get her out of, not one he had to put her in. God, I used to like this song? The hell was I on?

4) Song: Loyal

    Artist: Chris Brown feat. Tyga & Lil Wayne

    Year-End Position: 30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXRN_LkCa_o

AAAAARGH!!!! Why did we let HIM back in to the music world? I'll be damned if this isn't Chris Brown's most obnoxious, hateful, misogynistic, disrespectful song to date. This song is just plain insulting. Between its overuse of swearing, lack of charisma on the part of Brown himself (who we have to wait through for the majority of the song), and completely ugly attitude towards the female gender, this song is nothing more than CB getting back at all of the women who wouldn't have sex with him. Not only is there a lot of grade A hypocrisy in this song, but there's also a lot of messy and contradictory lines in the song. Seriously, Chris, do you want this girl to show you something, or did you take her to the bay with you? Also, if these women were staying true to their partners, you knew they had boyfriends, and yet you still willingly had sex with them despite this, that makes you the unloyal one, Chris, not them. The beat is okay at first, but it just gets more and more boring with each listen. Lil Wayne's verse is okay, but not great, and Tyga just derails the song and turns it into a generic brag rap track. Seriously, though, the fault lies squarely with Chris Brown and his douchebaggery, and while I thought his other song on the year-end chart, New Flame, was okay, I think I can speak for all of us when I say this: Chris Brown, go the hell away.

3) Song: Anaconda
    Artist: Nicki Minaj
    Year-End Position: 36

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDZX4ooRsWs

Truly a song that epitomizes the sound of the bottom of the barrel being scraped, absolutely zilch about Anaconda works at all. I'd actually throw this in the same dumpster that most people throw Whatcha Say by Jason DeRulo and 5 O'Clock by T-Pain in that it takes a classic song that everyone knows and utterly butchers and misses the point of it. The entire point of Baby Got Back was that one should love how their body no matter the flaw (of course this doesn't mean just ignore what your doctor tells you and all that, but come on, that should be implied), but what this song pretty much says is "if you are a skinny b**ch, get up and get the f**k out of the club because only the women with big butts are allowed." It's shallow, hateful, and just downright harsh. Well, that all comes at the end of the song, anyway, through some incoherent babble and an insufferable cackle. The first two verses are nothing more than incoherent stories pretty much about how Nicki just has sex with guys because they sell drugs, and because of this, these guys now owe her material objects. The "sample" is lazy as all hell, the inflections on her voice is grating to no end, the lyrics are shallow and self-centered in the worst ways possible, and what they do to the sample during the hook is just plain inexcusable. I mean, did they really have to include chipmunk voices, easily the most unlistenable and obnoxious of all vocal effects? This is absolute torture to listen to, and I have no shame in giving it the swift kick in the ass goodbye it deserves. Alveterzane you unlistenable piece of crap. YET........It only winds up at #3. What could've possibly beaten Anaconda? What? What?..........Prepare yourselves..........

2) Song: 23

    Artist: Mike Will Made-It feat. Miley Cyrus, Wiz Khalifa, & Juicy J

    Year-End Position: 36

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbEoRnaOIbs

Remember last year when I said that Love Me was Mike Will Made It's production at its worst? Well, I was wrong. This is. It's nothing more than 2 slightly differing variants of the same droning beeping noise that runs throughout the entire song, and nothing is ever added to give the song any real heft or presence, and it's grating as hell. Seriously, this beat is skin-crawling, and you can almost entirely blame that for why this is up so damn high. Of course, it doesn't help that every performer on here is just flat out abysmal. Juicy J's verse is forced and does not flow well at any point whatsoever, Wiz's drug/alcohol/materialism brag rap is just weak, and Miley is by far the worst artist on this track. Future producers and singers everywhere: note, if you ever have her on one or more of your songs, do NOT have her rap, because she's horrible at it. Her high pitched, nasally, disjointed flow only adds to how much of a drag this song is to listen to. Wanna see what beat it?

1) Song: Burnin' It Down
    Artist: Jason Aldean
    Year-End Position: 63

                                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdImDqbgc2g


If we're looking for the definition of a song that just gets worse and worse with each subsequent listen, Burnin' It Down fits that bill perfectly. I cannot stand a single second of this song. Aldean sounds more bored than seductive, and the lyrics are filled to the brim with the cliches that are normally found in a country love song in this vein without anything new to offer whatsoever. The real culprit, here, though, is just how abysmal that production is. This overproduced mess that is a choppy staccato guitar line, obvious drum machines, and messy synths is not good to listen to at all. Not to mention the fact that, isn't this supposed to be a country song? Really, the only thing that could even be remotely called country about this song are Jason Aldean's vocals, and vocals alone do not make a song fit in a certain genre. Far from it, in fact. The one thing I can't stand about this song, though, is just how gross it feels. Seriously, the way every element of the song clashes and the way those almost demonic sounding vocal effects come on to Aldean's vocals in the chorus just makes this whole song feel rather creepy and leering. Who enjoys this? What is there to enjoy about this? Why would anyone choose to listen to this on a regular basis? Why? If we're looking for a song where bad is defined by the absence of good, then this is it. I have no shame in calling this the worst hit song of 2014. Well, that's all for this blog post. See you guys in the best list.