Monday, November 16, 2015

BIRTHDAY POST: Top 20 Best Hit Songs Of 1995

Well, today's the day. My birthday, and wouldn't you know it, I survived for 2 whole decades. Woohoo. So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I take a trip back and give you not just my top 10, but what I think are the top 20 best hit songs of my birthyear of 1995. To keep the positive spirits alive, I won't be doing a worst list in full detail like I am this best list, but if you must know what is on my worst list, then here you go:



Alright, now let's get this shindig going.





20) Song: I Believe
      Artist: Blessid Union Of Souls
      Year-End Position: 27
Alright, I'll admit, the reason this song is so low is because the lyrics are pretty sappy and how nasal and pretty whiny Eliot Sloan's vocals can be. That said, the sentiment is executed quite nicely revealing that we as humans have a duty to see each other as such, and that no matter what, we must love one another regardless of skin color, ethnicity, religious background, etc. Not to mention that the music is amazing with sweeping strings, a melodic piano line, and just overall sounding very beautiful. I'll take it.




19) Song: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
      Artist: U2
      Year-End Position: 81

This song is just pure power from start to finish. I understand that Batman Forever may not have been a good movie, but there are at least two positive things that came out of it: this song and another one that we'll get to later on in the list. Anyway, Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me. If there is one thing that you'd need to get right if you were making a Batman themed song, you'd have to make it sound epic and big, and boy does this song deliver with its powerful synths and guitar work, strong percussion, and overall feeling like Batman & The Joker are just at each other's throats at that very moment. I do wish that Bono's vocals weren't buried so far down in the mix and I do acknowledge that the lyrics.....well, they aren't very good, but I'm definitely one of the people that, in most cases, is willing to excuse bad lyrics if the music is good enough, so yeah, I like this.




18) Song: Let Her Cry
      Artist: Hootie & The Blowfish
      Year-End Position: 26

I'm well aware how shat on Adult Contemporary rock music is, and I sometimes take part in it, but if I'm being honest, I have a little bit of a soft spot for Hootie & The Blowfish, and this song is no exception. The incredibly moving instrumentation, Darius Rucker's amazing vocals, the lyrics of advising one to let their partner have some time to emotionally sort things out for themselves when necessary, it's impossible for me to hate this song. That said, we still have 17 other pieces of awesomeness to get to, so let's move along.




17) Song: I Can Love You Like That 
      Artist: All-4-One
      Year-End Position: 15

If there is one group that I wish had a lot more modern day success than they did, it would be these guys because man, do they know how to harmonize. This is just one smooth as hell R&B track. The production has a lot of texture and smoothness to it, and the soulful vocals match it perfectly, and the lyrics of a man proving his love to a woman and willing to do anything for her that she can is nothing short of just sweet. I even like it more than the John Michael Montgomery original. It's that good.




16) Song: I Got 5 On It
      Artist: Luniz
      Year-End Position: 36

Ah, songs about smoking weed. How you almost never fail to amaze me. So yeah, in this case we have I Got 5 On It, a song from Oakland rap group Luniz, and unsurprisingly, it's amazing. The hazy beat that has a lot of texture and melody to it, each rapper involved really knowing how to spit, basic pot smoking lyrics executed surprisingly well, it all comes together really well for me. So what's keeping it so low?
"I take sacks to the face whenever I can"

Yeah, no, there's no way anyone thought that line was good.




15) Song: Run Away
      Artist: Real McCoy
      Year-End Position: 38

And we might as well throw #14 in the mix as well.

14) Song: Another Night
      Artist: Real McCoy
      Year-End Position: 6

Apart from a watered down, completely gutless cover of RedBone's Come & Get Your Love, I'd argue that the German house music duo, Real McCoy, is a pretty sweet dance music group, and these two songs prove it to the max. They both have production that has a lot of texture and swell with killer synthlines that are bouncy as fuck, Karin Kasar has an amazing voice, and hell, even Olaf Jeglitza's dark style of rapping manages to fit in surprisingly well somehow. These are just incredibly fun dance songs. What more do I need to say about them?


13) Song: Back For Good
      Artist: Take That
      Year-End Position: 62

Honestly, this song is pretty cheesy and maybe even pretty generic, but I've always been of the mindset that generic doesn't equal bad by default. There have to be more factors to the song to make it bad than just being generic, and I'd even argue that some songs, like this one, can be good in spite of being generic. The production that has an acoustic guitar with a lot of texture and the strings that add a good deal of melodic swell to the song, each performer just throwing all of their emotion in to the song, heartfelt lyrics about a man willing to undue his wrongdoings so he can get back with a past lover (and he actually sounds *genuine* about it), screw it, this entry is my birthday present to myself. Happy birthday to me.


12) Song: Hold My Hand
      Artist: Hootie & The Blowfish
      Year-End Position: 22

Regarding lyrical content, Let Her Cry comes out superior, but this is still serviceable, if a bit cliched, describing a guy who's willing to love the woman in question no matter what, and with the vocal delivery more than makes it believable. Speaking of the vocals, in terms of that and the instrumentation, I think William S. Deaver put it best: "It has a soulful, almost bluesy quality that didn't really show up that much in their other work, and it does a great job of showing off Darius Rucker's marvelous voice, which was always the band's biggest asset."
(Highly recommend checking him out, btw.)

11) Song: Turn The Beat Around
      Artist: Gloria Estefan
      Year-End Position: 87

Turn The Beat around by Vicki Sue Robinson was and still is one of the most energetic, fun songs ever created. It just has this timeless flair of just pure positive vibes that few others can replicate. Of course, I can think of no better fit to emulate the sheer amount of enthusiasm that Robinson than Gloria Estefan given that she's put out other incredibly fun songs like Rhythm Is Gonna Get You and Conga. Does she deliver here? You bet your ass she does. She is just the perfect match for the sheer zest of Vicki, and she's pretty much her doppelganger in that regard. The only real difference between the two would be the synths in Estefan's version, and even they sound amazing. If we're looking for how to properly recreate a classic, then THIS is how it should be done.

10) Song: You Gotta Be
      Artist: Des'ree
      Year-End Position: 20

Man, talk about a song from the 90s that has aged incredibly well. This is the perfect combination of self-empowerment anthem with just really fucking good pop music. An incredibly smooth and melodic keyboard line, percussion that makes its presence known without being overbearing or weak as hell, sweeping strings, Des'ree's soulful and gorgeous vocals, lyrics about being strong and facing any challenge that life throws at you, combine all of that, and you've got an easy contender for this list.


9) Song: Colors Of The Wind
    Artist: Vanessa Williams
    Year-End Position: 31

A lot of people would look at songs like this, Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson's cover of Beauty & The Beast, and Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle's cover of A Whole New World and think "aw man, why did such Disney have to take such classic movie songs and make boring, shitty adult-contemporary versions of them?" I'm lookin' at you, B-Hop. (On a serious note, I highly recommend checking that guy out, too. He's amazing.) Honestly, though, while I do like the originals, I feel like they work way better in context of their respective movies, modernizing them the way they did actually worked a lot more than I thought it would, even to the point where I prefer them to the originals. Out of the three, the A Whole New World Cover would be my favorite, but this is definitely a close second. The instrumentation is amazing. It's beautiful, sweeping, and very natural, which is very fitting of the subject matter of loving the Earth and all of its beauty. Williams' vocals are amazing. They have just the right amount of gravitas and passion that's needed for a song like this. Overall, this is a beautiful Disney track that I will happily return to.




8) Song: Run-Around
    Artist: Blues Travelers
    Year-End Position: 14

If we're looking for the perfect way to do a bluesy type of rock and roll, then look no further than the Blues Travelers. It's fun, bouncy, sounds incredible with its acoustic driven energy, John Popper's amazing vocals and harmonica playing, and it even manages to juxtapose its relatable lyrics about a woman not treating him right and always screwing him over and actually not only make us feel sorry for the poor dude, but also dance to his predicament. It sounds weird, and yet it works like a motherfucker. Not really much to say here. I highly recommend checking it out if you haven't already.


7) Song: Gangsta's Paradise
    Artist: Coolio ft. LV
    Year-End Position: 1

Yep, the biggest selling hit of 1995 makes its way on to the list. Damn high, too, and really, it's not hard to see why at all. The hazy synths that provide a dark atmosphere while still maintaining an incredibly solid melody, Coolio's intense flow, the gritty chorus from LV, the lyrics that not only do they not glorify the stereotypical gangster lifestyle, but actually condemns it and asks for a way out, it all amalgamates to one incredible song. Then again, just about everybody knows that by now, so moving on.

6) Song: Cotton Eye Joe
    Artist: Rednex
    Year-End Position: 93

Yeah, that's right. This song is on my best list, and up this damn high. Eat it, B-Hop (loljk, we still cool, but seriously, way to mislead me, dude -_-).
I see no reason to hate this song. Like, at all. The beat is fun, rollicking, full of energy, fit absolutely perfectly with the banjos and great sounding fiddles, and the chanting in the background just gets me pumped (take notes, DJ Mustard, THAT'S how you do crowd chanting). On top of that, the interpolation of the old folk song fits pretty nicely, and while the gimmick of these guys playing up southern stereotypes might be pretty stupid, it's the type of stupid that's just so goofy and oddly enjoyable. Are the lyrics incredibly repetitive? Sure, but it's the type of repetitive I don't mind given how strong every other quality of the song is, much like Turn Down For What, Blue (Da Ba Dee), Gangnam Style, and Call Me Maybe. I just.....look, I just really like the song, alright? Geez.

5) Song: I'll Be There For You/You're All I Need To Get By
    Artist: Method Man & Mary J. Blige
    Year-End Position: 42

Okay, I know how reviled the "thugs need love, too" genre is, and quite frankly, a vast majority of them I also dislike. They play to the old cliche of "oh, we bad boyz doin' reel gangsta shit, but we gots owa souft spot, too." That having been said, had more songs sounded like this one, I probably wouldn't have minded it and possibly would've liked it because this is easily the best song from that genre. Why? Well, it's because none of the usual gangsta cliches are present here (in fact, I don't think *any* cliches are present here at all). The main problem with a lot of songs in this category are that they either focus a lot more on the gangsta parts than the love parts, or when they do, it comes off as if they don't even love or care about the woman they're in a relationship with. The complete opposite is done here, and it is just absolutely marvelous. Method Man and Mary J. have a lot of chemistry on this song, and the beat is excellent with its smooth bassline, perfect tempo, and amazing synthlines that match the tone of the song exquisitely. The big selling point for me, though, is the lyrics. It's a song about promoting monogamy that ultimately says that through all the trials and tribulations that they've gone through as a couple, they're still willing to remain with one another, and the detail provided just adds to how much I can really get behind. Quick tip for any hip hop artist looking to make a love song: more of this, less of Always On Time.

4) Song: Fantasy
    Artist: Mariah Carey
    Year-End Position: 7

Fun fact: when I looked up what song hit #1 on the week of my birth, guess which song came up? If you need some help, look at the cover art directly above. In all seriousness, yeah, Fantasy is amazing, and it shouldn't be that hard to see why. This is how you create a fun, energetic song with a lot blended together. The punchy percussion, Mariah Carey's soaring vocals hitting those higher than the heavens notes while still sounding amazing, the multiple synth loops that make the song very busy and energetic yet never once cluttered, and how well it all fits the subject matter of the bewilderment of being in a relationship where the love is so strong, you'd swear is was, well, a fantasy. Really fun track, happy to recommend it.

3) Song: No More "I Love You's"
    Artist: Annie Lennox
    Year-End Position: 78

Oh, Annie Lennox, you glorious and magnificent woman, you. Is there anything you've done that hasn't been amazing? (Seriously, I don't think she's done anything that wasn't good.)
Anyway, No More "I Love You's." What the song this specimen is. I actually listened to the original version by The Lover Speaks before I decided to give my opinion on Lennox's cover (which I actually heard first, and if you're wondering what I think of it, well, take a look at how high it is on this list), and wow, I can see why it didn't chart in the US and flopped hard in the UK because it suuuuucked. Not the writing, of course, that was excellent, but the clattering, dated percussion that was a slog to get through, and David Freeman's vocals are weak as fuck. Leave it to super-heroine Annie Lennox to not just make it tolerable, but make it an amazing song. There's just so much more atmosphere and emotional weight in Lennox's version, and her strong performance really lends the song a lot to work with. The feeling of any sort of spark being gone fits a lot better here than in the original. I recommend listening to the original, but only for contextual reasons, and believe me, you'll be blown away once you come back to Lennox's cover. On the plus side, at least this song won't be fucked up beyond belie-
 SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Song(s): Creep/Red Light Special/Waterfalls
    Artist: TLC
    Year-End Position(s): 3/28/2

I'll just be straight up with you guys: TLC, in my opinion, is the greatest girl group of all time. I'm not kidding, there's not a single song of theirs that I think falls short of amazing. Diggin' On You, Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg, No Scrubs, What About Your Friends?, Unpretty, Baby Baby Baby, all simply amazing songs. I knew I had to pick at least one of the three songs they notched on the '95 year-end chart, but for the life of me, all of them were so amazing that I couldn't pick just one of them, so I said screw it and just went with all of them.
First up, we have Creep, and man, what a funky song this is. That repeating horn line works like it's nobody's business, and the tempo it's placed at is just flawless. The vocals here are just excellent. All three ladies really know how to harmonize, and it comes through on that incredibly melodic chorus. Not only that, but they sound amazing individually as proven by the verses. That brings us to lyrical content, and oh boy, have we got ourselves pure gold, here. Basically, the woman portrayed in the song still loves the man she's with with all her heart, but he's been cheating while ignoring her and telling her nothing but lies in the process, lately, and it's been getting old. This, in turn, has left her feeling extremely lonely and incredibly hurt. In response, she decides to cheat back while keeping it on the low low to fill the void her lover has left. Now, this isn't exactly the best message to be sending out, nor is it exactly the right thing the woman in question is doing. However, I'd say she's at least a little justified in doing so. She isn't doing so just to say fuck you to her SO, but to fill the void of the loneliness and hurt that he's left her with despite how faithful she was and still is to him, and even with that, she said she'll keep loving him until he totally pushes her away, which is at least reasonable enough, isn't it? I'd say it is.
Now we move on to Red Light Special, and man, what a sexy song this is. The beat is incredibly smooth with its soft keyboard line and synths and dusty percussion (hell, even that guitar line before the final chorus fits pretty well), and the vocals and lyrics are just incredibly seductive and alluring. Not really much to say here, it's just......hey, where did my clothes go?
Finally, we have Waterfalls, and I won't beat around the bush with you guys, this, without a shred of doubt in my mind, is easily my favorite song to hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100 charts, not just for 1995, but on the charts period. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing in this song that I am not absolutely in love with. T-Boz's rougher vocal delivery that fits the somber subject matter, the beat with its smooth bassline and guitar work and balanced, textured percussion, but what I love most of all is, of course, the lyrical content, from the first verse describing a mother concerned for her son given his dangerous involvement in gang activity which eventually leads to him getting shot to death, to the second verse about a man who has unprotected sex with a woman, thus causing him to contract HIV which he didn't know the woman had and soon dies of, to the chorus and Left Eye's inspirational verse essentially saying that while it is important to go for what one desires, there are limits to what one can do and to just make sure that the decision that a person makes is the right one for them, it all conglomerates into this masterpiece of music. Yet even with that, we've got one more song to go. What could be better than Waterfalls? We'll get to that, but first, here's a long, and I mean LOOOOOOOOOONG list of honorable mentions (believe me, this year was that freaking amazing): 

  • Del Amitri - "Roll To Me"
  • Natalie Merchant - "Carnival"
  • Dionne Farris - "I Know"
  • Shaggy - "Bombastic"
  • Soul For Real - "Every Little Thing I Do"
  • Dr. Dre - "Keep Their Heads Ringin'"
  • Hootie & The Blowfish - "Only Wanna Be With You"
  • Collective Soul - "December"
  • Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson - "Scream"/Michael Jackson - "You Are Not Alone"
  • The Notorious B.I.G. - "Big Poppa"
  • Skee-Lo - "I Wish"
  • D'Angelo - "Brown Sugar"
  • Janet Jackson - "Runaway"
  • Montell Jordan - "This Is How We Do It"
  • Boyz II Men - "On Bended Knee"
  • Seal - "Kiss From A Rose"
  • The Rembrandts - "I'll Be There For You"
  • Ini Kamoze - "Here Comes The Hotstepper"
  • Madonna - "Take A Bow"
And now, for my pick for the best hit song of 1995. Ready to see how predictable I can be sometimes?





1) Song: Dear Mama
    Artist: 2Pac
    Year-End Position: 51
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb1ZvUDvLDY

Yeah, let's face it, you all saw this one coming.
If you meet anyone who says they don't like any hip hop or rap song at all, no, don't mangle their neck just yet, just show them this song, and I'm pretty sure it'll change their mind. If it doesn't for whatever reason, then you can mangle their neck. (Note: That was a joke. I do not endorse neck mangling nor will I be held responsible if any neck mangling occurs after reading this blog post.)
So yeah, Dear Mama. This is easily 2Pac's best single, and it shouldn't be hard to see why. That guitar line that blends astoundingly with the strings and the percussion, Pac's more downplayed flow, and like many other entries on this list, incredible lyrical content, more specifically, the best lyrical content of all the songs on this list. This is a song 2Pac addresses to his mother, and it's basically him saying that he could never repay her for all the love and care that she's given him throughout the years, and although they've had their arguments and times of darkness, they've come out alright in the end, and all the memories and precious moments they've created together are worth more than all the money in the world. Now come on, who doesn't appreciate that sentiment? And the detail, oh my God, the detail. Pac really wanted to make sure this song was as descriptive as it could possibly be, and might I just say, he made the right choice here. From the arguments to not feeling anything when his father died to using his new found wealth to provide for his mother in an attempt to make her feel special to her taking care of him when he was sick, guys, I can't fit all of this in one post. You really need to listen to the song to get all of what he's saying, it's that packed with lyrical genius.
 Dear Mama by 2Pac. The best hit song of 1995. I hope you guys liked this. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go enjoy turning 20 years old, now.

Friday, July 10, 2015

BILLBOARD REVIEW: Week Of 7/18/2015

Well, 5 new songs have entered the top 10 since my last Billboard review, so it's about that time. First, a reminder of the ratings I gave to the songs I already reviewed:
9) Hey Mama by David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha & Afrojack - 4/5
7) Shut Up & Dance by Walk The Moon - 5/5
5) Trap Queen by Fetty Wap - 4/5
4) Bad Blood by Taylor Swift feat. Kendrick Lamar - 3/5
1) See You Again by Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth - 5/5

Alright, on to our new arrivals.




10) Song: Fight Song
      Artist: Rachel Platten

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc

You guys ready to get mad? Well, be prepared, because *flameshield up* I really like this song. Yeah, as far as empowerment anthems go, it's pretty generic, but generic doesn't quite equal bad, and I feel like this song is a perfect example of that. Fight Song basically talks about how Platten is going to take back her life and not let anyone hold her down. An admittedly done to death concept, but Rachel just absolutely sells the song with her passionate vocal delivery and explosive yet lush backing instrumentation. I do wish the song had given a little more detail as to how people have doubted her or the methods of how exactly she would take her life back in to her own control, but for what it is, I can appreciate it and really jam out quite a bit, actually. 4/5




8) Song: Where Are Ü Now
    Artist: Skrillex & Diplo feat. Justin Bieber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nntGTK2Fhb0

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but..... Justin Bieber, of all people, has a song under his belt that's actually......good. No, for real, this song is actually quite excellent. In fact, same goes for Skrillex & Diplo, the producers of this track, as Skrillex is awful outside of First Of The Year (Equinox) and Diplo is a mixed bag, and it really is their production that shines through on this song with its blend of trap production with EDM and Middle-Eastern elements with tons of flavor and texture backing it. That's not to say, though, that Bieber should be left out of this, though, because he, too, is also really good on this song. His vocals have a lot of vulnerability and emotion in them, and his singing of how he was there for this girl in question yet she left him in his time of need is actually really impressive. Again, I do wish there was more detail in the lyrics as to how the girl broke his heart or the specifics of what exactly Bieber did for this girl, but again, I can't complain too much. It's good for what it is. Another 4/5.




6) Song: Can't Feel My Face
    Artist: The Weeknd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqt8Z1k0oWQ

The Weeknd getting his Michael Jackson on? Hell yeah, I'm on board with this. We have The Weeknd being his awesome self on this track, a fun bass line, ominous strings that open up the song that fit surprisingly well as a transition in to the rest of the song, goofy lyrics about how he loves that he goes numb whenever he's with this girl in question, it's really energetic, it has a lot of bounciness to it, you know what? Yeah, I like this. 5/5




3) Song: Watch Me
    Artist: Silento
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjW8wmF5VWc

...........Okay, really guys? This song is not only in the top 5, but incredibly close to being #1?
I hate all of you. I.....I really do.
On a serious note, though, where I found my pick for my favorite hit song of the year so far in my last review of the top 10, I've found my pick for the worst hit song of the year so far in this one, and really, is it any wonder why? Between its incredibly messy synth work, limp percussion and finger snaps, and lacking any and all energy, who seriously finds this song any fun? On top of that, the lyrics are not only super repetitive, but also rely on referencing a deluge of dance crazes, most of which are really outdated, thus adding an extra layer of infuriating laziness to this song that, needless to say, only makes this song even less listenable. Worst of all, though, is Silento himself. This Rae Sremmurd reject has a voice that I have no idea how anyone can find even tolerable as it's so high pitched and grating that I dare anyone to not hear it and then not turn the song off after 1.5 seconds (and that's being generous). I'd give this a negative rating, but I gotta pretend like I have some semblance of integrity, so it's no surprise that this song is getting a big fat 0/5. Seriously, f**k this song.




2) Song: Cheerleader
    Artist: OMI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGflUbPQfW8

*Sigh of relief* Thank god, a good song. In fact, an amazing song. One of the best songs of the year, to be more specific. The original version of this is good, but if you ask me, I feel like the Felix Jaehn remix just works so much better. The tropical flavored EDM and horns combine for this really easy listening experience full of energy and fun, and the autotune and reverb added on to OMI's vocals really added a ton of personality to that of what already existed within him. Oh, and the lyrics are awesome, too. It's basically about how OMI has found a woman who will stand by him no matter what and really loves him for who he is, and nowhere in this song does he ever come off as undeserving of any of it. Man, this song is awesome. Yeah, it's a 5/5.

Overall, this week gets a score of a 3.9/5. Not quite as good as last time, but damn good. See you guys next time.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

REVIEW: Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShlW5plD_40


Y'know, I gotta admit, I'm in the minority of people who doesn't hate Meghan Trainor. While nearly everyone was mentioning All About That Bass somewhere on their worst hit songs of 2014 lists somewhere, whether as a dishonorable mention or on the list proper, I was over here jamming out to it. I found it to be an innocent song promoting body positivity (albeit maybe not in the best way) that people looked way too much in to with fun instrumentation and good singing from Trainor herself. Same goes for Lips Are Movin, but I'm gonna save my words for that song (*wink wink*).

Now, with all that said, can I say the same thing about her third top 20 hit, Dear Future Husband? Well................nope. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope ALL OF MY NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My God, what the hell were the people involved in this song's making thinking? Seriously, there is no way anyone with at least one functioning brain cell would even for a second think of writing something so abysmal, so horrendous, so abhorrent that it makes me feel bad for identifying as a fan of Meghan Trainor. Seriously, I will defend her a lot, but I do have my limits, and this is definitely the breaking point.

First off, I do wanna say that not everything about this song is bad. The instrumentation is still funky and upbeat with a ton of energy and flavor behind it, and Trainor's vocals are still good as always. That being said, however, all of it is absolutely demolished by what the lyrical content wound up being. Essentially what Dear Future Husband is is Meghan Trainor listing off what she would like for the man that marries her later on in life to do for her. It starts off innocent enough just asking for compliments, flowers, dates, and basic stuff like that, but as the song progresses, Meghan gets more and more demanding and pretty damn psychotic. Seriously, what kind of man do you know that would put up with having to apologize after every argument (even in situations where the wife was clearly in the wrong), not being allowed to have any dirty thoughts whatsoever, and not being allowed to see his family as often as he would like to? Furthermore, how lame is it that this is addressed to a future significant other? I mean, seriously, what is she, 11?

Overall, this song is a giant trainwreck. It had really good music and vocals, but damn if those awful lyrics didn't completely render any positive this song had going for it completely useless. I wanted to like it, I really did, but goddamn, do I absolutely despise this song. Meghan, I love you, honey, but please, for future reference, no more crap like this. I'm giving this a 0.5/5, and I'll see you guys next time.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

BILLBOARD REVIEW: Week Of 6/13/15

Hello, guys, and as part of a new series here at the blog of BackstreetMarceline, I am going to review the current top 10, and anytime there's 5 new arrivals (not including returning entries), I will let everyone know the rating of the previously discussed songs while I review the new entries. With that said, let's begin.




10) Song: Nasty Freestyle
      Artist: T-Wayne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGKK8eGQQEk

Aaaaaaand we're starting off with the worst song currently in the top 10. Yaaaaay. -_____-
Yeah, there is absolutely no redeeming quality to this song whatsoever. The beat is just this dismal mess of synth and piano cords, T-Wayne's autotuned vocals are not that listenable, and there's no connection at all anywhere within the lyrics. It's just this huge word salad of rap cliches and stupid, mind numbing punchlines. If you needed further proof as to just how much Vine hits usually suck (I would say all of them do, but Turn Down For What and Hot Boy exist), then this is it. Obviously, this one's getting a big fat 0/5.



9) Song: Sugar
    Artist: Maroon 5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09R8_2nJtjg

Talk about a complete 180. Seriously, Maroon 5 went from Animals, one of their worst singles, to Sugar, which is easily one of their best. The thing about this song is that it's just so much damn fun. I like the funky instrumentation that has a lot of texture to it, and I'm really into Adam Levine's performance on this song (yes, even the falsetto). Even the lyrics are pretty good. All they're about is just needing some good loving every now and then. A simple concept, but it's one that I think was handled pretty well in this song. This is definitely going on the best list at the end of the year. 5/5



8) Song: Hey Mama
    Artist: David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, & Afrojack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO59tfQ2TbA

Speaking of surprises, here's a song by David Guetta, usually thought not to make very good music (and, in some cases, lives up to that) that's actually pretty great. I do have a few technical gripes such as how monotonous the flow of the verses can get along with the fact that a line from Birthday Cake (one of the worst songs EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) was used for the chorus, but aside from that, yeah, it's really good. Guetta and Afrojack did a really good job with this beat and how energetic, wild, and chaotic it is while keeping it sounding good, Nicki's performance is great, and Bebe Rexha's vocals are amazing. While I don't really buy Minaj as a standard cooking and cleaning housewife, like, at all, it doesn't really come off that way to me. It's really more of an "I'll be faithful to you and right by your side" type of deal, which I can get behind. Overall, pretty good. 4/5



7) Song: Want To Want Me
    Artist: Jason DeRulo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rClUOdS5Zyw

Another funky song? Hell yeah. I'll be damned if this isn't DeRulo's best single to date. Everything from the instrumentation to the vocals right down to the lyrics is just so full of life and passion that it's hard to deny. Every element of this song feels very cohesive, and it all culminates in to this wonderful piece of music. I don't think I need to tell you that this is a 5/5 song for me, but I will just to inform you. Also, is it just me, or is anyone else reminded of late 80s to early 90s synthpop from this?




6) Song: Earned It
    Artist: The Weeknd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waU75jdUnYw

So.............people hate this song?
I gotta be honest, I wasn't expecting anything good to come out of the trash that is 50 Shades Of Grey, but to my amazement, we got TWO amazing songs out of it, and believe me, I'll be talking about Love Me Like You Do later this year. Earned It is just a sexy song, pure and simple. It's orchestral production, the chamberish feel that works surprisingly well, oddly enough, with the atmosphere in the song, and The Weeknd's voice is smooth and beautiful. I don't think I'll ever forgive him for being the guy who said "do you like the way I flick this tongue or nah," but as long as he continues to make songs like this, I just may be able to forget about it. 5/5




5) Song: Uptown Funk
    Artist: Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPf0YbXqDm0

Everybody and their third uncles twice removed have already praised this song to high heaven, and really, can you blame them? The funky instrumentation, the sheer amount of force and energy in this song, Bruno Mars' charisma and excellent voice, everything about this song is just plain fun. Sure, it's a song where Bruno Mars brags about how awesome he is, but never once does it ever feel like he's being condescending to the listener nor does he ever come across as insulting. In fact, at the end, he actively encourages the crowd to join in with him. 5/5, no doubt.




4) Song: Shut Up & Dance
    Artist: Walk The Moon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCLY0Rlx6Q

I got this song alllllll the way back when it was free on iTunes, and let me just say, easily the best free song I picked up from there. When it comes to a song that aims to be nothing more than just a glittery, fun pop-rock jam, man does Shut Up & Dance deliver. The bouncy instrumentation with its rollicking guitar work and shiny synthesizers combine perfectly with Nicholas Petricca's vocals, and the whole thing is just a huge jam. Also, can we just take a minute to discuss how much fun that music video looks? No? Okay. Whatever, the song's still a 5/5 (wow, there are a lot of those in the top 10 this week),




3) Song: Trap Queen
    Artist: Fetty Wap
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_kF4zLNKio

Look guys, I tried. I tried to hate this song. I claimed for the longest time that I absolutely despised this song. However, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't resist the infectious amount of silliness that this song has to offer. Sure, the lyrics are nothing special, but it really is Fetty Wap's loose delivery and the production that hold this song together. Oh my god, I can't believe how much I like this song. This is really embarrassing. 4/5




2) Song: Bad Blood
    Artist: Taylor Swift feat. Kendrick Lamar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcIy9NiNbmo

1989, let me just say, is a phenomenal record, not to mention Taylor Swift's best record by a country (or should I say pop :P ) mile. Shake It Off, Blank Space, and Style were all amazing songs, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I was excited as heck to find out what the fourth single was. So how is Bad Blood, exactly? It's......okay. K-Dot easily steals the spotlight with amazing flow, a ton of energy, and a plethora of clever punchlines, and T-Swizzle's voice is amazing as always with a really well done chorus. The beat, however, while not terrible at all, is pretty weak and is mostly percussion. Also, Taylor pretty much just handed the song to Kendrick. She really doesn't do much aside from sing the chorus and bridge. This is definitely not as good as the album version, which is actually quite a bit better. As a whole, I do like this song, just not nearly as much as I'd like to, so I'll give this one a 3/5.




1) Song: See You Again
    Artist: Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk

Well, who knew Wiz knew how to be good at rapping about something other than weed? And actually be BETTER at it? Guys, I've found my favorite hit song of the year so far. The rapping is done with so much passion and heart that it really does tug at my heartstrings, and same with Charlie Puth's chorus (seriously, his vocals are amazing). Let's be real here, though, it really is the lyrics that drive this thing home (no pun intended). Even ignoring the fact that this is a tribute to the late Paul Walker, this song is still emotional and well written as hell heaven. The message of holding a lost loved one in your heart in hopes that you'll one day see them again is just sweet, and I defy anyone who says otherwise. At no point does the song ever just feel like a cheap cash grab. It stays 100% genuine the whole way through, and that really comes in handy, especially for these types of songs. With all that said, this song is easily a 5/5.



So yeah, as a whole, this week of the Billboard top 10 scores a 4.1/5. That's an amazing score, and all of those 5/5's definitely help. Let's hope the top 10 stays awesome. I'm Halston, and I'll see you guys next time.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Collab Review: Top 10 Best Songs (By Otherwise Bad Artists)

Hello, and welcome to the thrilling conclusion of my collab with Show With No Name. Just like last time, he'll go first, then I'll give my 2 cents.

Well, time to get to the good stuff. Just like how every good artist has at least one stinker in them, the reverse can sometimes be true as well. Today, we're looking at artists who usually suck that gave us the following gems, whether just through pure luck or they somehow knew what they were doing, even if only for this one time. Let's begin.




10) Song: Knock You Down
      Artist: Keri Hilson feat. Ne-Yo & Kanye West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_RqWocthcc

Show:  I had only ever heard Knock You Down from Keri Hilson before, so I was puzzled when Halston suggested it. But even a casual listen to her other work makes it all make sense. This sounds about as far from atrocities like Pretty Girl Rock and Turnin’ Me On as you can get. This is a song about how surprising and life changing love is, and both Hilson and Ne-Yo sell it. Kanye? Not so much. And what sense does three people on a love song make? Anyway, this song is very solid. If I had just heard this, I would have thought that she was an entirely different kind of artist.

Me: Keri Hilson isn't generally someone who you'd think would deserve to be on a list like this, but when you take a closer look, you realize that she's really awful. I mean, sure, The Way I Are (despite how much of an eye roll the title is), her 2007 collab with Timbaland, was pretty good, but her solo output such as songs like the limp, overly autotuned, and utterly useless Turnin' Me On and the weak, way too egotistical for its own good Pretty Girl Rock are absolute garbage. That said, Knock You Down is still amazing. It's got great production, Keri's vocals are nice, Ne-Yo's verse is beautiful, Kanye's verse feels out of place, and yet it does nothing to affect how great the overall final product is. Keri Hilson may be bland as all hell, but Knock You Down is certainly far from being so.




9) Song: Young, Wild, & Free
    Artist: Wiz Khalifa, Snoop Dogg, & Bruno Mars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa5B22KAkEk
Show: Snoop Dogg has lost his credibility long before this song, Wiz Khalifa only seems to try when he feels like it, and Bruno Mars annoys me to no end. I’m also a straightedge conservative Christian. I should not like this song so much. But this really is just innocent fun. The best part for me is that piano riff throughout the song (you ever notice how the theme from Wasted by Tiesto sounds like this, too? Does something about that riff just scream “DRUGS!” to people?), which just makes it seem like a few friends having a good time. This is one of the best things any of these three have ever made.

Me: When it comes to an artist who may be bad but is definitely full of potential, Wiz Khalifa definitely fits that bill. He plays the weed rap game quite often, but he's never quite been able to get it down like in Young, Wild, & Free. This is probably one of the best songs about smoking weed there is, ultimately saying that they like to smoke pot every now and then, and that that's alright. I'm not a big fan of pot myself, but I see nothing wrong with using it, and the laid-back beat full of texture really aids Wiz giving an awesome performance and really knowing what he and Snoop are talking about. Speaking of the D-o-double-g, let's get to him. Snoop Dogg's been going downhill for quite some time (as evidenced by his verse on Wiggle), but he really brings his A-game on this song, and the interplay between him and Wiz is superb. Not to mention how catchy the chorus by Snoop, Wiz, and Bruno Mars is. Catchy chorus, laid back beat, great flow and lyrics, what else does there need to be? The song is great. Let's move on.




8) Song: Pills N Potions
    Artist: Nicki Minaj
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7ld-3nZUxA
Show: You ever notice that the professional music critics seem to like everything? They apparently praised Only, Anaconda, and Truffle Butter.

Me: Actually, I like that last one.

Show: Even still, you gotta admit, it's not her best.

Me: Point taken.

Show: Continuing on.
Just thinking about that makes me want to bash my head against a wall. But I do agree with them heaping praise on this song. Nicki Minaj has never struck me as the emotional type, but it turns out that she can be thoughtful and caring after all. There are problems, like the misleading title and the repetition of “I still love” (what, do you want a cookie?), but that is made up for with the production and the verses. Why couldn’t THIS have been the Pinkprint? Oh, well, I’ll take what I can get.

Me: Personally, I would've put Moment 4 Life in this spot as I believe that to be Nicki's best single, but then Show reminded me that that song wasn't stuck on an album with songs like Anaconda and Only, but settling for the next best thing isn't all that bad in this case given that this song is still really great. Nicki is at her best when she gets emotional, and this song definitely proves that. This song, as slightly misleading as they may be, are really heartfelt, the instrumentation is really lush, and it really gives Nicki an opportunity to show off her amazing pipes. It's not my favorite Nicki Minaj song (again, that'd be Moment 4 Life), but it's definitely up there.




7) Song: FU
    Artist: Miley Cyrus feat. French Montana
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2O3r8I2V7U

Show: I interpret the FU as not being said to a cheating boyfriend, but whoever decided not to released as a single. I hated We Can’t Stop, hated Wrecking Ball, and would have hated Adore You if I was awake. This sounds like a song, which is much more than I have ever come to expect from you. If THIS had been a hit, I would have taken notice. I still don’t think that she is a great singer, but she manages to sound decent here. But why did French Montana get a featuring credit? He doesn’t even have a verse. It’s good, which is shocking Miley “I can so twerk! Really!” Cyrus.

Me: Going wild to mixed results, Miley Cyrus went wild with changing her persona and musical output in 2013. It was.....a less than favorable decision, to put it lightly. I personally didn't mind the musical aspect of it (especially not Wrecking Ball, which is #5 on my best list for 2013), but when you're involved with utter cacophonies of songs such as Do My Thang and 23, it's easy to see where the hate comes from. In FU, however, no such example can be found. The old style musical theme blends surprisingly well with the synths, and it suits Miley's fiery and sultry performance perfectly. I have no idea what the hell French Montana is doing in the background, but it kinda works as a staple of the song's background somehow. FU is certainly not something I'll be saying to anyone who allowed this song to exist.




6) Song: Halo
    Artist: Beyoncé
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnVUHWCynig
Show: Beyoncé is one of the few artists that can be both on a “bad artist” list and a “good artist” list. She is one of the most polarizing acts out there. But in the chaos, we still get gems like Halo. I never thought that I would ever say this, but this Beyoncé song is truly beautiful. It’s sincere, powerful, and romantic. Ryan Tedder knew that he had a winner with Secrets, so I don’t blame him for using that sound again here. And then again in Already Gone (another song I like). Hey, whatever works? The idea that the same artist that would go on to make 7/11 makes my head spin. Oh, well. Still a great song.

Me: Beyoncé is certainly a polarizing artist. At her lowest of lows, she gives us complete crap. At her highest of highs, however, we get gems such as this beauty. The synth and the piano flow great together, and they build is just phenomenal. Beyoncé's vocals are beautiful, showing off how great of a belter she is, and the lyrics of openly welcoming a guy into her life is definitely a much needed change of pace from her usual man bashing. This is easily one of Beyoncé's best songs.




5) Song: I Gotta Feeling
    Artist: The Black Eyed Peas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA
Show: This might be the only Black Eyed Peas song that I am NOT embarrassed to admit loving. This is what happens when the Black Eyed Peas all play to their strengths and all actually try. It was one of the most overplayed songs ever back in 2009, but it deserves it. This makes sense as the signature song from an album called The Energy Never Dies. No matter how many times I hear this, it never gets less fun. The feeling that you are about to take part in something you will remember forever is something artists need to use more often. I love this song, even if it is by the same act that made My Humps, Imma Be, and Rock That Body.

Me: It's a fun, catchy pop tune that uses a bunch of party clichés, yet has them delivered by the Peas with a ton of passion and energy over a fun and energetic David Guetta produced beat. It's yet another example of how the Black Eyed Peas are way better at partying and getting everyone involved than they are at bragging about how awesome they are. I Gotta Feeling is a song that'll make you wanna party from....
"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday"
.......precisely.




4) Song: Drops Of Jupiter
    Artist: Train
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xf-Lesrkuc
 Show: We rated these songs on a scale of both how good the song was and how bad the artist usually is. If the second one was not a factor, this would be my number one. I am embarrassed by how much I love this song. This is one of the few songs that can make me happy every single time. I have listened to it so many times that it has become a part of me. The lyrics are silly and about nothing, but I know every word. Like Halo, this song has almost a heavenly quality to it. Considering my reaction to literally every single other thing that Train has ever done, it is likely that this was a fluke, but to me, this is one of the luckiest accidents in the history of music. One of my favorite songs ever.

Me: Train, especially lead singer Pat Monahan, have always had a tendency to go towards the weirder end of the lyrical spectrum.

Show: That's like saying water-boarding is just getting a drink of water.

Me: Ooooooof course it is, Show.
Anyway, it's always worked better when those types of lyrics are paired with a sound that's more big and grandiose, and Drops Of Jupiter is a perfect example of this. The narrative is amazing, the accompanying production and vocals are beautiful, and this is easily one of the best in Train's catalog.  Not really much to say here. It's just amazing.




3) Song: The Other Side
    Artist: Jason DeRulo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byp94CCWKSI
Show: Darn it, Derulo. This especially stands out on the Talk Dirty album, one of the most bizarrely terrible albums in recent memory. But The Other Side gets everything right. Jason Derulo really sells it, but the star of the show is the production. It is sweeping, fun, and matches the song perfectly. How is it possible that the same guy who made Talk Dirty and Wiggle also made a sex song as romantic and innocent as this one? I have no clue how or why this song came into existence, but I am not complaining.

Me: The EDM and guitar are amazing and blend surprisingly well, DeRulo's vocals are great even with the autotune used on his voice in the chorus, and the lyrics of going to the proverbial "other side" are excellent. I've never really hated Jason, but he's definitely proven to be on his A-game here. This song was a serious contender for my 2013 best list. It ultimately missed the cut, unfortunately, but that's only because there were so many other amazing songs. Doesn't mean it's not amazing, though.




2) Song: Yeah 3X
    Artist: Chris Brown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mC2ixOAivA
Show: I hate talking about how almost perfect this song is. That this song actually manages to make me forget how reprehensible Chris Brown is for four entire minutes is a feat of Herculean proportions. The performance that Chris Brown gives is actually very good. It’s sweet, fun, and surprisingly sincere. Wow, I’m shocked that typing that sentiment didn’t just make me vomit. I am absolutely certain that this was a fluke. But even the worst artists can get it right, and Yeah 3x got everything very right. It was one of the best pop songs of 2011. Now let’s move on. If I have to keep complimenting Chris freaking Brown I think that I might just go into cardiac arrest.

Me: Yes, even one of the world's biggest douchebags can have a good song. If there's anything about this song that's awesome, it would be the fact that this song is a really energetic and innocent song where the main intent is to get people to be having fun, and I defy you if you can listen to this song and say you're not doing that. Unlike some of Chris' other attempts to do this, however, such as Turn Up The Music, every element is great to listen to. None of it grates on one's nerves, and I dance my butt off anytime I hear it.




1) Song: We Own It
    Artist: 2 Chainz feat. Wiz Khalifa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYQ1Okyi3g4
Show: “Surprisingly good” is not nearly enough to describe this song. Who would have guessed that 2 Chainz and Wiz Khalifa could make a song THIS good? To be honest, this reminds me a lot of Lose Yourself, one of the best rap songs ever made. Wiz Khalifa does great, but the star of the show was 2 Chainz. He really owns it here. A 2 Chainz and Wiz Khalifa song on the soundtrack of Fast and Furious 6 does not warrant being this good. Like many of the songs here, I am frustrated that more people don’t know about them. We need more songs like We Own It.

Me: 2 Chainz is one of the epitomes of bottom of the barrel generic rappers. Let's get that out of the way. That said, even the worst of rappers can have a great song, and We Own It proves that in the most epic way possible. The menacing and bombastic sound coupled with both Chainz and Wiz being on point consistently and throughout the song is awesome, and while Wiz is at the top of his game, it's actually 2 Chainz who's the better rapper in this case as he fits the more badass and hardcore persona a lot better. Every element of this song is perfect, thus making it the right choice for the top of this list. Huh, maybe these two are turning a new........
"HOL' UP HOL' UP, WE DEM BOYZ"
"Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis"
........nevermind. We Own It is still awesome, though.
Well, Show, that ends our collab. Did you enjoy yourself.

Show: Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Me: We should do this again some time.

Show: Yeah, we should, and maybe next time I can tear Jar Of Hearts to shreds.

Me: Shooooooooow. >:(

Show: Right, sorry.

Me: Hehehe, it's alright. Well, until that happens, see ya.

Show: Take care, man.